Schalk Bezuidenhout

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Friday 28th April 2023

It was the first of times, it was the worst of times. This week we go international, and a jet-setting South African who's embarking on a first UK tour next week. You may know Schalk Bezuidenhout from his stuff on Netflix, and his judicious taste in jumpers; now he's going to a bunch of big cities with the show I'll Make Laugh To You. So how does it compare to his previous stuff?

"I think when we recorded the Netflix special I was finally at a point after 10 years where I really have found my comedic voice," he says. "Now look, I have always had my comedic voice, but sometimes I would explore different things like going a bit more political or going a bit darker. Now I feel like I have REALLY found it. Maybe it will change, who knows? But for now the new show is just me enjoying doing the comedy that I love and that I want to do."

It's a good place to be. Schalk also performs in Afrikaans back home: so could he do this new show in both languages, or is it different, somehow?

"All of the material would work in Afrikaans and in English, but there would definitely be slight changes here and there. My tenses would certainly be a lot better in the Afrikaans show. But are you coming to the show to hear slick, flawless tenses?! No! You're coming to laugh! And that I can do in Afrikaans or English or even... yeah no, just Afrikaans or English."

He can make laugh to you in at least two different ways: if you want him to. But now let's look back at Schalk's show history.

First gig?

My first gig was at this bar in Cape Town called The Purple Turtle. It's not there anymore. If only they could blame Covid, but it was dead long before the pandemic. I got there SUPER early to try and look professional, not realising that comics often arrive just before the show starts or even during it if they are later in the line-up.

I was the first person there. Even the guy who ran the gig wasn't there yet. It was just me and the barman. I said I was performing and he looked at me with pity. He might have lit a candle in my memory, anticipating the death that was to follow. When the gig started there were some people, but I seem to remember at least a quarter of them were other comics.

It was in about April 2011, just before I turned 19 I think - it actually went really well compared to a lot of people's first time! I remember thinking "this comedy thing is not so bad, it's actually quite easy". My second gig I killed even harder, which boosted my confidence even more. I thought: "Am I the next Seinfeld? If I shave my moustache and you squint I could even look like him a little bit."

And then my third gig I died epically and it brought me right back down to earth! But hey, as long as you have more good ones than bad ones, that's all that matters.

Favourite show, ever?

When I turned 30 last year I did a big comedy show on the day of my birthday. It was at a theatre in Cape Town and I started my career in Cape Town, so it felt a bit full circle. The show was sold out and it was quite a surreal gig. So nice. And I did a bit of a 'Best Of' show with some material that I hadn't done in yeeeaaars!

I remember when I started out and I saw a comic who was about 30 years old doing a 'Best Of' show and I thought 'what a wanker.' I mean, he still was, but turns out I was one as well. But to think that I had written enough material to be able to do a 'Best Of' felt good. What feels even better is when 600 people sing Happy Birthday to you.

Worst gig?

My first paying gig was in a strip club at 2pm on a Friday afternoon. I am not going to elaborate on that. Think in your imagination how terrible that gig would be for a comedian. Now times it by 37. That's how bad.

Which one person influenced your comedy life most significantly?

Honestly, all the comedians that I started out with influenced me so much. There's nothing that starts a fire under your ass than seeing your peers do fresh new material that's killing, and you're still doing the same tired gags you've been doing for months and months!

Especially when us comedians living in Cape Town would go up to Joburg and just see their level of comedy (along with getting our phones stolen). It created such a drive in me that I feel I still have; the Joburg comics killing, not having my phone stolen. That didn't create any drive. In fact, there was no driving happening then at all, because you can't order an Uber.

And who's the most disagreeable person you've come across in the business?

Firstly, I had to Google 'disagreeable'. I won't mention a name, but I know an old comic that was once top of his game and one of the biggest names... then him and his comedy stayed the same, but the world changed and, I know this sounds hectic, but his fans started dying (although you know, that's literally how life works).

And slowly but surely he was getting less and less people at his shows and I think what would have been especially hard for him is when he would get booked for club gigs, but then a younger comic would get booked as headliner and not him. And he would always be at gigs afterwards and sit at the bar and just moan so much about the industry and the younger comics and and and...

And it literally became a thing in the industry that you don't want to end up old and bitter like that guy. But let's be honest... I'll also probably grow old and sit at the bar moaning about the industry and the younger comics. Most of us do it already!

Is there one routine/gag you loved, that audiences inexplicably didn't?

Not really, I'm not precious about my gags. If something doesn't work, I cut it. No matter how much I think it's funny. I think a lot of things are funny that I would never put in my show. So the gags that don't work are just a lapse in judgement of something I thought was funny and other people don't.

Also, I hate silence. I hate it in my hotel room. I hate it in a conversation. And I hate it on stage. So anything that causes silence, I get rid of.

Any reviews, heckles or post-gig reactions stick in the mind?

I once got a review in Britain that was about my dungarees that I wore on stage that night. The review said very little about my comedy and a lot about my outfit. It said I looked like an '80s presenter on a children's show. Now firstly, I don't see that as an insult. That's the style I'm going for! Secondly, some of my favourite comedians have terrible dress sense. So I guess what I am trying to say is: best review I've ever had.

Which other South African comics should we look out for?

Well firstly, I don't feel like I am nearly big enough internationally, so... LOOK OUT FOR ME! But I think Robby Collins is really killing it and hustling hard. He has opened for Dave Chappelle and goes to New York often to do comedy there. But yes, if you are looking out, look out for me, and then Robby. In that order. And then also look out for traffic when you're walking in the street. That's important too.

How do you feel about where your career is at, right now?

I feel good and frustrated and grateful and blessed and good again. I am currently on tour in Australia for the first time and the shows here have been so nice. I am returning to the Soho Theatre in London and doing the biggest room there I have ever done. I am doing Edinburgh again. This time in a bigger room and I feel good about the material I'll be doing.

And I feel grateful and blessed because I know a lot of comics would give up their dog or their spouse to be doing this full time on an international level. And then I feel frustrated because I feel so passionate about this thing... I mean, my wedding ring design is a microphone. I DON'T CARE IF YOU THINK IT'S LAME! But at the end of the day I do feel like I am married to comedy.

So sometimes I feel frustrated because I just want it all at once! I want to sell all the tickets and get all the specials and tour all the countries and make all the people laugh. But that is just because I, on top of feeling good and frustrated and grateful and blessed, am also impatient. And I'm working on that.