Robert Florence (Burnistoun / Uncles)

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Thursday 23rd March 2017

If you're a fan of the fine north-of-the-border sketch show Burnistoun, and are north-of-the-border over the next few weeks, you'll probably want to go see Uncles; the show, that is; not your own uncles, although feel free to go see them too, unless they're creepy ones who your parents would mysteriously never let babysit for you, or whatever. Anyway, this Uncles is a show by Burnistoun's Robert Florence and Iain Connell. Let's let Robert explain:

"Uncles is a show about your uncles. What I mean by that is that your uncles are always a bit of a mystery in your life, aren't they? You know about your father, and you know his opinions on the world. But uncles are a step removed. They have a few more secrets. So the show lets you listen in to your Uncles, and we're travelling all over (some of) Scotland to let you do that."

Indeed, they're touring (some of) Scotland from Thursday night, starting in Dumfries, after a four-show stint at Oran Mor in Glasgow. But before that, Florence flings us back in time...

First gig?

My first ever live comedy gig was a stand-up double act with a great stand-up called Allan Miller. We'd set out to do some really bad jokes, in an old vaudeville style, ending with a routine called 'the glass routine', where we slowly sang ourselves off-stage while holding a pint glass. It was a masterpiece, if I remember correctly.

Favourite show, ever?

I'd have to say it was Burnistoun: Live And For Real at the King's Theatre. We weren't even sure people would turn up, so it was a delight to see people so into what we were doing.

Worst gig?

The most horrendous live gig of my life was at a pub in Leith in Edinburgh. The punters didn't even know there was going to be any live comedy - they were just wanting to enjoy a quiet drink. It ended up with the performers and the audience getting involved in a kind of war of attrition that developed into actual war. A middle-aged woman threatened to glass me if I didn't get off the stage.

The weirdest gig?

It was probably trying out material for Frankie Boyle's Tramadol Nights, when we were working that up. My da was dying, we were performing this incredibly weird material, the sun was blazing, the audiences were loving it. It was one of the strangest periods of my life.

Who's the most disagreeable person you've come across in the business?

Definitely Jerry Sadowitz. I did a show called videoGaiden for the BBC years back, and we worked really hard to secure a guest slot for Jerry Sadowitz on it, making sure we could go to him and tell him he had carte blanche to do whatever he liked on the show - magic, comedy, anything. He replied and told us to fuck off.

Is there one routine/gag you loved, that audiences inexplicably didn't?

I don't love any gags that the audiences don't like.

The most memorable review, heckle or post-gig reaction to your stuff?

I occasionally do these live videogame shows, and I once had to do one while I wasn't feeling well. I was really queasy all through the thing. Really fighting off the nausea. After the show, in the bar, a girl who'd been at the gig said something really overtly sexual to me that I won't repeat here, and it made me feel really sick - and I'm sure she could tell from my reaction. I must have looked like the world's most impolite prude.

How do you feel about where your career is at, right now?

I feel like I'm starting over, in a sense. I'm changing direction, focusing on writing and directing, hoping to move towards film full-time. I'm re-aligning, adjusting my orbit around Planet Success. At least, I think it's Planet Success. Those were the co-ordinates I keyed into the computer. If it's Planet Failure, I'll find out if they're looking for a King.