Phil Jerrod interview

Furry Phil Jerrod is currently supporting Romesh Ranganathan on tour - nice gig - but goes solo in Soho this April with his debut Edinburgh show Neanderthal "which is about the unfathomable problems of modern life." His next one "provisionally called Hypocrite," he says, "seems to be about what a terrible person I am." Well, let's see.

First gig?

Underneath an Angus Steakhouse in Brighton. It was good!

The constant crunch of the ice machine complimented the stark silence perfectly - and nothing makes a gig go better than the ever present waft of quality steak.

I remember I started by pretending to hang my bag up on a hook that didn't exist - so that it would fall to the ground creating maximum hilarity. This did not work and I would advise no-one to ever, ever try it again.

I remember the numbers being quite good. But I think the steak may have been the main draw. And many of the other acts turned out to be waiters.

The show you look back on most fondly?

Last year I played the Brighton Dome which was quite an experience. It's a big theatre and one where I used to watch comedy before it was my job. But if I'm honest, the good ones tend to fade away into the past - it's the bad ones that stay with you for ever and ever and ever.

Worst gig?

Exeter Corn Exchange was a difficult one. It was during the first match of the FA Cup and Exeter were losing quite badly - I forget to which team... because I was being booed off stage at the time.

Also I once did a gig in a Rugby club on the outskirts of Welwyn Garden City when I was still an open spot. They were expecting Alesha Dixon for some reason and were angry that I wasn't Alesha Dixon which is something I have no control over. I ran away because they started fighting.

Once at the Smoke and Mirrors comedy club in Bristol I accidentally threw a table lamp at a woman. I felt bad about that for a while.

Who's the most disagreeable person you've come across in the business?

I have found most people connected with the industry to be quite nice actually. Especially comics, because the fear of imminent death, both on stage and off stalks most of us most of the time.

I do remember one comedian stopping me after a gig and whispering in my ear "Comedy's a young man's game", which I thought was particularly harsh seeing as I was only 33 at the time.

Only one promoter I met was a bit of a prat - but he/she/it is famous for being a bit of a prat. Yeah, it's the one you're thinking of. Yeah, that one. What a prat.

The weirdest gig?

I once did a gig in Brighton where the mic stand was a Starbucks cup taped to a broom handle taped to a milking stool.

But the oddest I think was at the opening of a photography exhibition where there was no mic at all. Also no lights, and no seats for the audience - just people milling around looking at photographs. Then all of a sudden a woman walked into the middle of the room and shouted "Please welcome Phil Jerrod". I felt like I'd gatecrashed a wake.

Is there one routine or gag you loved, that audiences inexplicably didn't?

My great stuff about airline food, Jimmy Savile and the differences between men and woman always seems to bomb. Especially at the Invisible Dot.

I'm only joking. I've never played the Invisible Dot.

I had a joke about my father-in-law ringing the police on my wedding day to report that his daughter was being kidnapped. But I could never make it work. It's often difficult to derive comedy from stark reality.

What's your best insider travel tip, for touring comics?

Take hand sanitizer. Avoid Southern Rail.

The most memorable review, heckle or post-gig reaction?

A man after a gig in Bristol shook me by the hand and congratulated me on the quality of my research. I think at least one of us was at the wrong conference.

I once did a very difficult gig at a golf club. Halfway through a lady in a wheelchair shouted "I can't understand a word you're saying", got up and walked out. Genuinely - I promise I'm not making this up - literally walked out of the room like I was a crap comedy Jesus.

How do you feel about where your career is at, right now?

I'm having a great time at the moment. I'm doing Romesh Ranganathan's tour support, writing a brand new show, unaccountably healing the lame - I'm really enjoying being a stand-up, I think.

It's your last ever gig: give us the venue, the line-up, the pre-show rider...

Venue: Dilapidated Rugby Club on the outskirts of Welwyn Garden City.
Line Up: Alesha Dixon
Rider: Hand Sanitizer.

'Phil Jerrod: Neanderthal' is at the Soho Theatre on the 19th and 20th April. Info & Tickets