Kate Hammer

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Friday 22nd December 2023

It was the first of times, it was the worst of times. And now it's Hammer time.

Kate Hammer that is, who's ending 2023 in Edinburgh, at the Monkey Barrel Hogmanay bash, which seems a good way to celebrate the end of a memorable year, for all sorts of reasons.

"Monkey Barrel is the perfect place to celebrate anything - from a night out with friends to losing your virginity," the Canadian comic concurs. "I have a can of Negroni reserved for when I finally achieve the latter."

It's always best on ice. So how does Kate look back on 2023?

"Internationally everything is quite scary and tense, but personally I received my five-year Global Talent Visa - making me a government-approved comedian. Not laughing at my jokes is now against the law.

"This last year was definitely a big one - I started off a manic pixie dreamgirl and am ending it a manic-depressive nightmare troll, but in a good way. My fashion sense improved (I cut off all my hair), my dating life didn't (great for comedy), and I've started therapeutic art (painting my friends sexy Shreks).

"2023 saw me do more gigs than ever before, which also means I perfected applying eyeliner on a moving train while out-of-key football fans crush tinnies in a corner. I honestly love it here."

Swings and roundabouts, but that's 2023 for you. Can we genuinely cheer the start of this new year?

"Whatever 2023 was for you, changing years deserves to be an absolute belter," Hammer declares. "We have to embrace the new year as it's the only thing we can actually-potentially-maybe-a-bit control.

"For instance, did you know you can bleach your hair and literally become a different person? If that doesn't work, try moving to a new city, getting a piercing, or buying a simple hat. I don't think 2024 will be the year we want. It'll be the year we need. Also did I use 'belter' correctly? I'm eager to learn."

Nailed it. Now, let's look back at the year just gone.

First Gig (of 2023)?

Flying Tiger had a sale on 2023/24 planners in May, meaning I actually cannot find nor remember what my first gig of 2023 was. I didn't even make a January Show List on Instagram leaving the mystery open for future generations to start a podcast, gather facts, and come to a reasonable conclusion of me nailing it in front of hundreds of fans.

Either that or I did Red Raw at the Glasgow Stand in front of my parents who were visiting Scotland, bringing with them an incredibly debilitating stomach flu which made me semi-delirious on stage resulting in a respectable but confirmed non-belter performance. It's a shame we might never know which it was.

Best Gig (of 2023)?

I was so unreasonably excited to be booked for spots at Latitude Festival and Late N' Live this year which were amazing. I performed with incredibly talented comics at iconic venues and did I mention the bookers were gorgeous and extremely smart too?

Honourable mention goes to a gig in rural Scotland that had the surprisingly best audience and when you got offstage, you got a pizza. Mama, and this is true, mia. Who knows, I'm holding out hope this NYE show could top them all.

Worst Gig (of 2023)?

I did a spot on a compilation show at 2023's Glasgow Comedy Festival that started off amazingly. The crowdwork was steaming hot and I had them in the palm of my sweaty hand. Then I got too confident, flew too close to the sun and decided to move onto completely untested material about a recent tooth pulling. Everyone there, and this is true, hated it.

I thought it could be relatable but apparently nobody else grinds their jaw so much at night it makes their teeth crumble when faced with an especially deep-fried chip. I know what you're asking and yes, I did get to keep the tooth. I plan on putting it on a chain and giving it to my future wife.

Who's been a real positive force in British (or Canadian) comedy this year?

If I named everyone, it would make for a very boring answer, and I'd surely forget someone which would then haunt me to the unmarked grave. So I'll say that the Scottish scene as a whole is shit hot and I'm so proud to be a part of it. Everyone here brings such a high level of talent that leaves me inspired and challenged to do better, which I need.

I'll also mention The Humour Mill, a Glasgow-based comedy organisation that runs monthly meet-ups, workshops, and makes comedy more accessible to everyone. It's so vital to healthy comedy communities to have things like this, and they even run extremely good shows which I would say even if I wasn't a part of them.

Most of all, I'd like to thank Mae Martin for moving to the US, leaving a short-haired, queer Canadian vacuum for me to fill.

And who's been the most objectionable?

There are still plenty of things said to female and NB comedians from (usually) men that are still completely inappropriate, uncouth, and disappointing to the bone. Whether we whisper about it, tweet about it, or warn each other in chat groups, it's exhausting not being able to simply focus on making people laugh.

Also, when Aunty Donna came to town, almost every single comedian went to see them and it was like a weird high school reunion where you had to pay for the wine in monthly instalments. This sounds as though it should be a positive moment but comedians are extremely awkward offstage, and when I waved at one funny person across the theatre they got so flustered they kicked over someone else's pint. Aunty Donna owes us money.

What's the best show, or set, you saw in 2023?

An impossible question that I couldn't possibly answer except for Nowt But Sea by The Delightful Sausage (Amy Gledhill and Chris Cantrill).

Coming from an improv and sketch background in Canada, I miss the hive mind controlled chaos of performers simply having a wonderful time on stage, and this show brings me back. It has now been filmed and put on YouTube, which is just pure joy on demand.

Also I saw Amy at Latitude Festival on the big comedy stage in front of thousands of wet, hungry, definitely not sober people all asking for phone chargers. Despite this, she knocked it out of the park. Legendary stuff. Great hair.

Your best - and worst - Xmas gigs, ever?

I haven't done a lot of Christmas gigs as I'm usually far away from civilization on a goat farm.

The best Christmas gig was when I was seven and played an angel in our local nativity called Journey to Bethlehem. I got to wear a snowsuit, gold wings, and after the show we all got hot apple cider and unlimited Christmas cookies.

The worst Christmas gig I've ever done was when I was seven and had my requests to play the front half of the camel refused, so had to play an angel. The apple cider burned my tongue and I ate so many gold coins from one of the wise men that I threw up in the donkey's pen and told everyone it had diarrhoea.

Any hot tips for 2024?

I'm planning on getting really hot this year so watch out for that. It will unfortunately negatively affect my sense of humour, in what's known as the Chris Pratt effect. I pray I will be able to recover.

There's a show at Monkey Barrel called The Other Show and it's the only place that has let me do a tight five as a caveman named Ogg who has marital issues and is bullied by his cave friends. Alt comedy will continue to rise as we need the escapism real bad, and shows like this are perfect for it.

Also, I'm not sure it's happening, but I dream of audiences being more representative of society. Ladies, NBs and queers, I promise there are shows and comedians where you will laugh AND feel safe with every single performer (such as Open Comedy, Comedy Mango, All Mouth, Diversity Quota, Material Girl, and MORE!)

Finally, visors are ripe for a comeback. Buy now.

What are your own plans for 2024, onstage and off?

First off, I need to cancel all of my back-up marriage plans as I got my visa and have no need for love in my life. I have the ability to turn any personal conversation with a friend/family-member/person I overhear into a bit for the stage, a process better than sex.

I'm going to sweat less while performing, or at least hide it better, and honestly, go easier on myself. This should probably involve taking my ADHD medication, but it will not.

I will be doing more sketch, more improv, and more tooth jokes. Not because I am haunted by the worst gig of the year, but because I think dentists have had it too good for too long. Lastly, I'm going to change my vibe from "woman who will invite you to her wedding after meeting you in the bathroom once" to "literally anything else".