John Moloney

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Friday 21st January 2022

For our first First Gig, Worst Gig of 2022, we turn to a master of the stand-up arts, an eminent pillar of the UK circuit who in recent years has been rocking the mic on BBC radio, too. But not Radio 2.

"This is the fifth series for Radio 4," says the Londoner, of The John Moloney Show. "We recorded the first series seven years ago. Series 1 got great reviews and even made it on to BBC Radio 4 Pick of the Year, and some episodes have been Pick of the Week, ever since, which is perhaps why we're still going!"

It can't hurt. And what sort of thing can we expect from that sharply-written, if straightforwardly-titled series, which kicks off again on Wednesday?

"I know everyone says this, but the show truly is about everyday stuff, but hopefully with jokes in there, too. Stuff like adopting a dog, writing a will, going for a medical examination..."

But now it's our turn to probe. Are you sitting comfortably...?

First gig?

My first gig was in 1985, at a 'talent' night at London University. There was about 50 people there in a noisy bar. I remember being really nervous, and dying on my arse. But dying on stage wasn't going to stop me; it made me more determined, to be honest.

Favourite show, ever?

I would say the 40th anniversary of The Comedy Store. It was the great and good of British comedy - stadium fillers.

But Don Ward (the owner of The Comedy Store) stuck to his roots, and had a handful of not so high profile comedians on the bill, ground troops who'd being playing the club for years - and I was one of them. He could have chosen from hundreds of comedians, and I was honoured to make his shortlist.

Worst gig?

Apart from every Christmas gig ever, the most horrendous was warming up for a Victoria Wood Christmas special at the BBC. It became a staring match - and they won. At the end of the night, I said to the floor manager "They were shit, but at least those wankers mean I've got money for a new fridge". My microphone was still on.

Which one person influenced your comedy life most significantly?

I'd say Dave Allen. I went to see him at the Garrick Theatre when I was seventeen. The way he held an audience for two hours without leaving his chair was incredible. Watching him showed me that it didn't all have to be whistles and bells, 'love me, love me' - it could be stripped down and equally as effective.

I adore comedians who let the words to the work. Les Dawson is a genius, too. "My mother-in-law was going to come tonight, but she's at home unpicking the Swastika off her raincoat."

And who's the most disagreeable person you've come across in the business?

Libel laws won't allow me to say. I think a practise that I found disagreeable then, and still do, is when comics are unfairly paid. I know that once you agree a fee: that's it. But I'm old enough and wise enough now to ask venue capacity and ticket price.

Gone are the days where I'd agree a modest fee, and turn up to a gig where there's 300 people who've paid £15 a ticket. The vast majority of gigs are fairly paid, but it still annoys me when someone takes the piss.

Is there one routine/gag you loved, that audiences inexplicably didn't?

I spent a fortune having a rabbit costume made. It was for my Edinburgh show at The Gilded Balloon in 1995. I thought it would be really funny to walk on to the stage at the beginning of the show dressed as a rabbit, and say "Shit - wrong gig ." It wasn't really funny. I dropped it after three shows.

I gave the costume to the lovely Sean Lock in the end. I hope he got more laughs out of it than I did.

Any reviews, heckles or post-gig reactions stick in the mind?

There was a wonderful heckle moment at Malcolm Hardee's gig, where a bloke in the front row was a body piercer, and his mate was a carpenter. A bloke from the back shouted "Fuck me - let's have a crucifixion". I literally got off stage, walked to the bar and bought him a pint.

How do you feel about where your career is at, heading into 2022?

I'm just chugging away nicely. And I'm still here doing what I love. I wouldn't have believed that thirty years ago. It should be almost illegal that someone should be paid to have so much fun, and work with so many incredibly creative and inspiring people.

The new series of The John Moloney Show begins on 26th January on BBC Radio 4. BBC Sounds