Jason Byrne

King of the carefully worked-out show that then ends up totally differently to the way he planned it every night, Jason Byrne is back in Edinburgh, then on tour, with a show called Jason Byrne is Propped Up. Which "is me with loads of props," he says, "using the audience as props and their belongings as props. So it's all about props, not every second, but a lot of the time. Example of props: handbags, dolphins, owls, xylophones, Gywneth Paltrow's head.

You'd think he'd given up on props after the 'worst gig' below, but he's a hardy soul, and a Hardee soul: all will be revealed.

First gig?

The Coach House, Ballinteer, Dublin 16, Ireland. I was asked to MC a gig for two local nurses going to Romania to look after 'The Aids Babies' - I shit you not that's what they were called. I didn't even want to do the gig. When someone tells you you're funny in the pub, you're not going to be funny on stage, it's a craft for God's sake.

So I arrive in flared pin-striped trousers, braces, a big badge on my silly shirt screaming "I am 1". I looked like an idiot and I thought this was what you did. Up I went, MC for the night, bands playing, poets, fiddle and squeezebox players, all great at their craft. My mother in the audience, priest, nuns, all the neighbours. So off I went, I'd seen Billy Connolly do his well-crafted stage act so I thought I'll be blue like him.

Everything that came out of my mouth was so blue, women's bits, men's bits, juices etc - my mother and co watched on with open mouths, they were disgusted, the two nurses I was doing it for didn't speak to me for the rest of the night. I died so badly that every time I got up to introduce another act, people queued right in front of me to get drinks.

When your mates tell you you're funny, I guarantee you you're not. If you think and only you think you can do it, then sneak off and try in a club on your own. You'll have a much better start if you do it that way.

Favourite show, ever?

When in Edinburgh, I played a 160 seater, it was sold out, a lady left to go to the toilet. I convinced 159 people to hide, just out an exit door on the stage. We all left out the exit door, girl came back, looked around, just sat down, she thought she was having a break down, we all jumped out and roared 'SURPRISE!!!!' And she then had that break down.

Worst gig?

Up The Creek in Greenwich. Malcolm Hardee MC. I knew the club was notorious for really good hecklers. Up I went, first gig in London by the way, dropping props as I walked to the mic. Felt the audience turn even before I started, as I said, "hang on I'll just pop this rubber hand on the table."

Very heavy Dublin accent, the room hadn't a clue what I was doing, so the prop made no sense. The crowd started to call "Taxi" and also "Malcolm", I left to one clap. Malcolm went back up said he thought I was good and the audience were "A pack of c*nts" - I loved that man forever for doing that for me. We'll never forget Malcolm Hardee.

Who's the most disagreeable comic/promoter/agent you've come across in the business?

It was at a gig in Spain. The promoter was from Iceland. I know, mad. He asked us to start telling jokes in the foyer as the punters loved this, we said NO, he said we wouldn't get paid unless we did. So me and three other comics in the foyer, like magicians at a table trying to make Spanish people laugh. Only person laughing was our promoter from Iceland. Never seen him again.

Weirdest gig?

Please read above. Or the time I gigged in a man's kitchen.

Is there one routine/gag you loved, that audiences inexplicably didn't?

Oh yesssss. I once went out topless with a red nose telling one liners in a northern English accent. No one ever laughed and I loved that. Oh and I once used my nipples as motorbike noises, revving them as I made the noises. That was on telly!

What's your best insider travel tip, for touring comics?

Don't drink on tour, that last gig wasn't your last, even though it was amazing. Sight see as much as you can. Don't end up with a stripper called Yazmen from Aberdeen, she'll be on the rest of the tour with you, so again, don't drink.

The most memorable review, heckle or post-gig reaction?

My Uncle and Auntie's reaction at a really big gig in Dublin, afterwards in the dressing room: "God that was mad, yes mad, god you're mad". That in Ireland means they thought it was shite.

How do you feel about where your career is at, right now?

Really, really happy: written a book; did an amazing short for Sky; still hosting Wild Things on Sky - biggest game show in the world right now; selling out Edinburgh; loving the live gigs. But I'm a comic, so honestly, COULD DO BETTER!!

'Jason Byrne Is Propped Up' is at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival until the 28th August and then tours the UK from 1st October - 11th December, for dates and tickets please visit www.jasonbyrne.ie