Graham Kay

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Friday 2nd August 2024

It was the first of times, it was the worst of times. And this time we welcome Graham Kay, from the great nation of Canada, who's perhaps not widely known over here yet but has been opening at arenas across the pond (more on that below) and has just begun his first Edinburgh Fringe run. Pete and Me's sub-heading tells the tale, "A Non-Depressing Look at Autism and Family". As Kay explains:

"Basically, I felt that there was nothing out there about what it's like to be a sibling of someone with a disability. In comedy clubs I kept sneaking in little jokes about my experiences with my brother, and audience members started to wait for me after shows. They'd let me know that they also had neurologically or physically atypical siblings or that they themselves had autism."

And that led to an interesting shift, on stage.

"I started realising that I was connecting to people in a way that didn't happen when I killed harder. Like, I was funnier before, with the older material, but people didn't feel as strong of a connection to me. I think in the past talking about being a sibling of a disabled person has been a bit taboo. We're not supposed to say it was hard. We're just supposed to be a social worker all our lives and not even talk about it.

"I love my brother and I don't mind being a social worker and having to move from NYC to Ottawa when my parents can no longer take care of him, but I deserve to talk about it. I deserve to say, 'Hey, it's hard when you're ten years old and have nobody to talk to like an only child but you get none of the attention they get and you still have to share'."

And lo, stand-up comedy. Now, Graham Kay, do please share your gig history.

First gig?

It was a sold out amateur night with 200 people my age in the audience. I was 20 and I knew I might bomb so I lied to my girlfriend when she asked what I was doing that night. The only problem is I did bomb and I guess I'm a bad liar because when I left the stage I saw my girlfriend standing in the back.

She had a look on her face not unsimilar to what I'd imagine she'd make if she just walked in on her parents. She soon after cheated on me with a guy who she later married. However, they just got divorced last year so I win!

Favourite show, ever?

I opened for [Nashville comic] Nate Bargatze in front of 19,000 people at a sold out NBA basketball arena.

Worst gig?

Back when I started out I did a gig in Harlem, NY, and I was so bad I got booed not only off stage but it didn't stop until I was on the street. I quite literally got booed out of the building. But I went back the next month and killed. I just had to think of some comebacks for some particularly mean regulars.

Which one person influenced your comedy life most significantly?

Probably my parents. Not only did they love watching stand-up when I was a kid but they also scarred me just the right amount that gave me a sense of humour.

And who's the most disagreeable person you've come across in the business?

There was a guy who took pictures of young Canadian comics' feet in exchange for MTV auditions. It was a huge scandal, lol.

Is there one routine/gag you loved, that audiences inexplicably didn't?

I used to do this joke where I shook the hand of every audience member in attendance on my walk to stage. It got what you'd expect.

What's your experience of the Edinburgh Fringe before this show, and how's the mood, a month out?

I've never been and I'm very excited to try all of your fried pies!

Any reviews, heckles or post-gig reactions stick in the mind?

You mean like when I got booed out of that building in Harlem? Other than that sometimes you're feeling good after a hot show and somebody will say "well my husband hated you but I LOVED you" and it's like why???

How do you feel about where your career is at, right now?

I'm really excited and grateful. I'm currently opening for the comedian selling the most tickets in the world (Nate Bargatze) and headline some of the best clubs in North America. Which is good because I haven't had a day job in 12 years. And the last office job I had the woman beside me got a BlackBerry and we all crowded around in awe. I literally can't go back.

Graham Kay: Pete and Me (A Non-Depressing Look at Autism and Family) is at Gilded Balloon, Edinburgh, until August 26. Tickets https://tickets.edfringe.com/whats-on/graham-kay-pete-and-me

Graham Kay: Pete and Me was at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe during Gilded Balloon's 2024 line-up.