Geoff Norcott

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Friday 28th March 2025

It was the first of times, it was the worst of times.

This time it's the return of Geoff Norcott, who is heading on tour this Autumn with the excitingly-titled Basic Bloke 2: No Bloke without Fire.

"Making this a sequel to my previous tour is just about the silliest thing I could think of," the South Londoner explains. "I also wanted to make it sound like one of those action films, but instead of Channing Tatum it stars a five-foot-nine bloke with a receding hairline."

"I've always been jealous of titles with funny names. However, nothing rhymes with 'Geoff Norcott' but plenty rhymes with 'Bloke'. Maybe I'll call the next one Blokeback Mountain."

Peak Norcott. His original USP was being a then rare Tory-leaning (or openly Tory-leaning) circuit comic, so this tour should be interesting, given the new regime's choppy start. Is he chomping at the bit?

"It's definitely a change to have a new government to focus in on," he says. "We got overly used to saying 'Bloody Tories'. I'm quite into shouting 'STARMER' and blaming him for everything from stunted economic growth to poor wifi. Then there's his voice. Trump said he liked it, but I think Keir sounds like a decaffeinated tea-bag who's been brought to life."

And, presumably, square? But now, Geoff Norcott, let's do First Gig Worst Gig 2.

Your first headline set?

It was in Corby I think, mid noughties. The pub already looked like the kind of place which sold everything from peanuts to fake passports, then they showed me to my 'green room'. It looked like the bedroom where Renton goes cold turkey in Trainspotting. I still think coming off heroin would've been more enjoyable than the forty minutes I spent dying on my arse.

What's the best comedy advice you've ever received?

Put the funny bit at the end. Ninety per-cent of all comedy editing - be it stand-up or scripted - is remembering to make the last bit of the sentence the funniest. I'll give an example: that analogy I did earlier about Keir Starmer's voice. If I'd written 'A decaffeinated tea-bag on legs would have more personality than Keir Starmer' it wouldn't work as well. They're called 'punchlines' for a reason.

Was there a breakthrough show, where your onstage style and stuff suddenly came together?

The show which got the industry's attention was Conswervative in 2016. Ironically, that was the least funny show I'd ever done at the Fringe. What it did have was tension, jeopardy and other bollocks which critics value but real comedy audiences don't give a toss about.

The worst stage you've ever played on?

The one which was the worse - but not anybody's fault - was when I performed for the troops in Afghanistan (though I hate to bring it up, my selfless work for our brave armed forces). We'd landed at a forward base and had to do a pop-up show to a sober bunch of soldiers at 11am. Some of them had to then go out on foot patrol, so we weren't grumbling about that.

But the wind in that bit of Helmand Province was so strong the sound was blowing backwards towards me. I said a joke and then a beat later heard it again. First and last time I've been heckled by myself.

The oddest audience member?

I had a lady on the last tour who came to several shows on the bounce and heckled. Harmless enough, and the first three were funny - but after the fourth I was considering calling Richard Gadd.

Is there one gag/routine that worked a lot better than you expected?

The most unexpected stuff which works is in the online sphere. I recently had a routine about men taking the bins out and women staying on top of the social calendar (not exactly Kaufmanesque but a fun bit). It did 10 million views across social media. You can joke about politics all you like, but what most people want is to be told they're not the only one married to someone useless.

Your worst gig-travel experience?

Like many comics, I lose it with overnight road closures. I get that it has to happen at night-time, but the diversions are mental. There have been times when I've considered ending it all because it was 3am and I was inexplicably on a B road near Telford.

Who would join you on your dream bill (dead or alive) and what slot would you take?

I'd like to MC a gig with Dave Allen, Bill Burr, Katherine Ryan and Romesh. The last two not least because, in this game, work is one of the only times you get to catch up with friends.

Geoff Norcott: Basic Bloke 2: No Bloke without Fire is touring the UK from September. Tickets