Des Clarke
Published: Friday 15th October 2021
Today we celebrate that rare event: a 200th anniversary. Yes, we could insert a joke here about an old celebrity, but let's not tempt fate, eh?
That anniversary is for the fine BBC Scotland show Breaking The News, which turns 200 this afternoon - the 200th episode, that is, it hasn't been on since Georgian times, but it's quite a feat all the same. Delighted to be mastering tonight's ceremony is the hotseat stalwart, Des Clarke.
"It's an amazing achievement," he says. "I'm proud to have reached this milestone of hosting such a long running panel show and not been involved in at least one tabloid newspaper scandal."
That's done it. So how will they mark this momentous evening?
"We will definitely eat some pizza to celebrate," he says, "then start thinking about the next show. What a wild bunch we are!"
That's the secret. But how has he kept things fresh, for 199 episodes?
"All credit to the production team behind the scenes and our lead writers, aka Brexit, Donald Trump and a global pandemic. Seriously, the changing news cycle always keeps the topics fresh. Also for every series we have a healthy balance on the panel of BTN stalwarts and a few new faces just to spice things up."
And a consummate host helps, of course. So now let's head back to Clarke's own start, way back at the turn of the century.
First gig?
April 2000, Blackfriars pub in the Merchant City area of Glasgow. Home to the Funny Farm collective who had been massive in Scottish comedy throughout the 1990's. It was like a sweaty out of body experience. I got a couple of laughs and that was all the encouragement I needed...
Favourite show, ever?
It would have to be hosting the 2014 Commonwealth Games Closing Ceremony. One billion people watching on TV. 50,000 in the live crowd at Hampden Park. Kylie Minogue, Usain Bolt, The Royal Family and a field full of scotty dogs. The best atmosphere I've ever experienced.
No cue cards, no autocue. And an infinitely much easier gig than the one I had the week after - MC'ing Jongleurs Nottingham.
Worst gig?
See previous answer. Actually there have been lots of horror shows over the years. I distinctly remember an afternoon gig at a bar in Fife where two guys were having a spitting contest at the front door. Rules were simple - who could spit the furthest. That was way more entertaining than anything I did on stage that day. And I think is now a series commission on Dave.
Which one person influenced your comedy life most significantly?
Billy Connolly and Robin Williams were the two people I loved watching growing up, so definitely from a stand-up perspective it would be those guys. In real life my family and the people of Glasgow. Everyone I grew up with was really funny. Listening to them was a comedy education.
And who's the most disagreeable person you've come across in the business?
I've actually found most folk in comedy really easy to get on with. We're all cut from the same cloth so there's a bit of a connection there.
Moving into TV and radio was a different story. One example came early in my career. I presented SMTV - a massive kid's telly show - in the early 2000s. This era was the birth of reality TV and we would get a few of these newfound celebrities pass through our doors.
Success had come very quickly to them and while some were lovely... others would act and talk to people in a way that left us all feeling a wee bit uncomfortable. Whereas most of the huge established stars were generally the opposite, professional and easy to deal with. Go figure!
Is there one routine/gag you loved, that audiences inexplicably didn't?
So many. I had a whole thing about how bin bags lie to you by pretending to be full just so you could take them out of the bin. Then you put them on the floor and they're still half empty. My unnecessary anger against a bin bag greatly amused me - but sadly not the audience.
How were your lockdowns, generally and creatively?
Lockdowns were tough for gigs because there was no live work. Zoom was a nice alternative. I've done some blended gigs since we came back which is a positive development. In life generally I've moved house and been doing a lot of work to it, which has been a nice distraction. Though at times I have felt like Nick Knowles on DIY SOS.
Any reviews, heckles or post-gig reactions stick in the mind?
After my Sport Relief special where amongst other tasks I overcame a fear of drowning and was taught to swim, the first comment from a random Glasgow woman the next day... "Saw your programme. Didn't think your nipples would be so hairy." That's a review right there!
How do you feel about where your career is at, right now?
I'm very happy where things are right now. I'm a lucky boy. 20 years in and I'm still working, making a career out of my hobby. Live stuff, TV work, my daily radio show on Heart and of course the love of my life Breaking The News. The one thing that's missing is a stand-up tour. Hopefully I'll put that right next year...
The 200th edition of Breaking The News is on BBC Radio Scotland today - Friday 15th October - at 13.30, then Saturday 16th at 11.30, and on BBC Sounds
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