David Hoare

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Friday 17th December 2021

It may seem that we're in for another apocalyptic Xmas this year, but 2021 has not been all bad. Back in October the Musical Comedy Awards brought some festive joy to the world - literally, as the live show was also streamed - and one act still glowing like a Chernobyl Cheshire Cat (please ignore the complex geography) is David Hoare, who won the audience vote on the night.

His set up is popping up on the NextUp platform this very Friday, so we've decided to test his festive-song memory. First though, what does he recall about that successful October evening?

"It was easily one of my favourite gigs ever," says Hoare. "It was an absolute joy to play the Bloomsbury Theatre and every act smashed it. There was such a fun atmosphere backstage and Dave the MCA soundman said he'd never seen such camaraderie between the acts in the final before.

"I accidentally had dinner with Christy Coysh (who came first overall) because we walked into the same restaurant at the same time before the show. After that, we just tried to have as much fun as possible. I think that came across on stage. I'd also like to publicly thank Orlando Gibbs for ironing my shirt on the night, as I am incapable of ironing."

It's a pressing issue. We'll get on to his other memories/plans for 2021-2 below, but first - IT's CHRIIIIIISTMAS (songs).

First festive song you remember hearing, or singing?

I believe that would be Away in a Manger. That would have been at nursery so the other performers would have been the two Matthews, Kate, Paul, Jonathan and other children I haven't kept in contact with.

In regards to Christmas pop songs, my dad recorded a festive Top Of The Pops 2 off the tele and I vividly remember seeing the video to Wham's Last Christmas at a young age.

What's your favourite Christmas song?

Stop The Cavalry by Jona Lewie. That Dub-a-dub-a-dum-dum refrain is just so good and it doesn't get played to death like the other Christmas songs. It was always my favourite on my mum's Best Christmas Songs Ever CD when I was putting up decorations as a child.

Moreover, I was in a ska covers band, The Pirate Captains, who dressed as pirates and did ska covers of pop songs and we played Stop The Cavalry, so there's lots of sentimental attachment to it.

And your least favourite seasonal song?

I worked in retail and the service industry for 10 years straight and thus hate nearly every Christmas song there is, as I have heard them all to death; even the good ones. But my least favourite is I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday by Wizzard as I fundamentally disagree with the premise. It narrowly beats out Slade, as hearing Noddy Holder shout "IT'S CHRISTMAS" 14 times in a day and it's only November 6th is panic attack inducing.

Who are your favourite - and least-favourite - festive musicians?

When I was at university, my flatmates and I would get dressed up and go to the Leeds Christmas Market where the Lederhosen-clad house band Mundy and Friends would play every year. We'd get steins of beer and they'd play Christmas classics interspersed with a cover of Yellow Submarine, but with the lyrics changed to 'we all love the people of Leeds'. That was always a treat.

My least favourite is probably Michael Bublé. I find his voice creepy. It's too silky smooth, like an 80's businessman.

Ever written a seasonal song yourself?

I wrote a song a few years ago called It's Not Christmas Till You've Watched Die Hard as I used to watch it every Christmas Eve. I'm actually quite bored of the "is it even a Christmas movie?" argument now, but I used to be a big proponent of it being essential Christmas viewing.

Is there one song or lyric you loved, that your audiences inexplicably didn't?

I wrote a song once called How Much Denim is Too Much Denim? and the lyrics were just "Denim, double denim, triple denim, quadruple denim, quintuple denim" all the way up to sexdecuple (16) denim.

The first time I tried it out at a new material show, an audience member went into such a rage as they couldn't imagine one person in so much denim that they wouldn't stop yelling at me. I was too scared to try it again.

Any reviews, heckles or post-gig reactions stick in the mind?

I did a Christmas party gig once. When we arrived at the venue we were informed that their meal had been delayed by 45 minutes and that they'd filled that time with Jägerbombs. The first act just went on and yelled their set with no pauses. The second act left the stage after getting into a shouting match with one of the tables. I went on third and tried to get through it.

After I'd done seven minutes worth of material, I looked at my watch and I'd only been on stage for one minute and 58 seconds. After a further minute some guy shouted "I think you've done enough now mate" and 40 people joined in shouting 'OFF OFF OFF'. As I walked off stage the whole gig got pulled. The headliner, who had driven for three hours, never even made it to the stage.

How has 2021 been, generally?

My 2021 has been interesting but surprisingly fun. I started the year being the zoom/ streaming tech for Playground Online and Frog & Bucket Online, both of which were amazing projects to be involved in. I've also thrown myself into Twitch morning streams and that has been wonderful.

Once restrictions had been lifted I was able to perform at a number of summer festivals, including MCing the comedy stage at End of the Road, which was absolutely incredible. Obviously the MCA final was brilliant. And I've ended the year as resident MC at Chops Comedy in Bristol, a new material show I co-run with Stuart Goldsmith. We started Chops in February [t]2020[/t] and managed four shows before lockdown happened, so to be able to bring it back has been incredibly satisfying.

How is your 2022 looking - in an ideal world?

I will be releasing my new album of comedy songs, called Irredeemable Filth, early next year. I will be doing my first solo show called 100 Songs In An Hour at various festivals. I will be doing morning Twitch streams every weekday and trying to gig as much as possible up and down the country.

Watch David Hoare on NextUp

For updates on David's album, and beyond, follow him on Twitter: @davidhoarelol