Carl Hutchinson

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Thursday 4th May 2017

Currently supporting fellow north-easterner Chris Ramsay around the UK - including a massive hometown gig at Newcastle's Metro Arena on 6th May - Carl Hutchinson will then march triumphantly down to London's Bloomsbury Theatre, on his own. What's that about?

"The show is called The Fixer," he explains. "I get people to tweet in before the show starts with 'If you were PM for the day what one law would you introduce?' It's just a fun little way of getting to interact with the crowd without asking the standard, 'Where you from, what do you do for a living?' It's fun to find out a little more about the people in the audience. Depending on how many people get involved the show can be very interactive, to not at all interactive. I have my own 'laws' as backup."

It's always good to have some made-up laws to fall back on - insert your own Trump joke here. But now let's journey back to a more modest Geordie venue.

First gig?

October 24th 2006. It was that long ago. Dog & Parrot, Newcastle. I wanted to at least give stand-up a go. At school and sixth form I'd always performed in some sort of capacity, from school plays to opening and closing speeches at various European Youth Parliament debates. So when I completed my first year at uni without doing any sort of public speaking I was kind of getting the itch again.

I contacted Newcastle University's Drama Society to ask if anyone knew how to get into stand-up. A guy called Murray James gave me another guy's email (Chris Martin) who was running a gig at the halls of residence at the time. He politely passed me onto Al Dawes who ran the open mic night at the Dog & Parrot. I called Al from my parents' house phone and wrote the date and location down on the back of a metro ticket and promptly blue tacked it to my George Bush funny quotes obligatory uni poster.

It was a month away and it was all I thought about, what would I do or say in five minutes? Would I last five mins? Would I get a laugh? WHAT WOULD I TALK ABOUT?! I think I spoke about daytime TV adverts or something. I don't remember much but I got enough laughs to carry on. From that day I was hooked.

Favourite show, ever?

Newcastle City Hall last year supporting Chris Ramsey. There's just something about performing in front of your hometown, friends & family. It was the biggest audience I've had the pleasure of performing in front of also. Loads of fun.

Worst gig?

It was recent! It was a corporate after-dinner gig for a local cricket club. Oh man they HATED me! I had a little bit of information about certain individuals in the crowd. That killed, they loved that - but I only had so many stories of how "Barry made an arse of himself on the holiday". Eight minutes in and I was dead in the water. Eight is probably generous: I was booked for 25, they hated my stories and hated me by the end of it. I said goodnight and literally ran out of their establishment.

The weirdest gig?

There's a comedian called Katie Martin in Manchester who books gigs for parents and babies. It's a lovely idea to give the parents who've just had a child something to get out the house for, as it were. The gig was lovely, but when your only briefing is "just ignore the crawling children and crying babies" it's very, very weird.

Who's the most disagreeable person you've come across in the business?

So you want a bit of dirt? It would just have to be promoters who don't pay comedians. Believe it or not that happens quite a bit. Some promoters have even been known to only pay a comedian if that comedian comes down and does another gig for half the money! Imagine your boss says the only way he'll pay you for your eight hours on Monday is if you do eight hours on Tuesday for half the money they paid you on Monday.

Is there one routine/gag you loved, that audiences inexplicably didn't?

Loads! Loads and loads! That's how you write, bin the bits that don't get laughs. You can always think that your new bit is going to get big laughs until you perform it. My most recent one was the premise of "what if time travel does exist, but the world that's invented time travel doesn't see modern day Earth as something worth visiting, so we never know about it?"

What's your best insider travel tip, for touring comics?

Stock up on books, podcasts and TV shows. Don't stop and eat food on a journey, get food for the journey! Pack light and wash clothes along the way if you can. Get your arse to the gym or be prepared to put weight on in a hurry. Remember, if it's free drink at the venue, the other comedian driving you home might not like having to do 17 piss stops.

The most memorable review, heckle or post-gig reaction?

It was my first year of comedy, I participated in two highly regarded new act competitions. I performed the exact same seven minutes in each competition (for I only had seven minutes). In the first competition I didn't get placed, I won the second competition.

One was in August and the other October 2007. The same person reviewed both shows. The first review said I was bland and forgettable. The second described me as unique and dynamic. The same seven mins. It was then I realised it's probably not healthy to read too much into reviews, so in that respect I'm happy it occurred so early on.

How do you feel about where your career is at, right now?

Right now I'm happy and grateful that I get to do what I love. I'm not content though, there's still plenty more I want to get done. I'm enjoying every bit of it.