Andy Zaltzman
Published: Monday 19th December 2016
Who better to round up this stinker of an annum than the self-proclaimed satirist-for-hire, Andy Zaltzman, both in this special end-of-year FGWG, and live at London's Soho Theatre from Tuesday until Jan 7th (dates that will no doubt confuse tourists into thinking that this is what passes for panto in the austerity era). Cracking gags though.
"2016: The Certifiable History will be the official judgement of history on this crankiest of years, delivered before history even has the chance to start digesting it," Zaltzman proclaims. "I will attempt and fail to explain the inexplicable, provide a solution to the global migration crisis, and work on the assumption that, given that most Worst-Case Scenarios never actually happen, that we will all look back on 2016 in 200 or 300 years' time and have a good laugh about it."
Admirable quasi-optimism. So, other than that, what else is Andy up to?
"Other than that, I have relaunched The Bugle podcast, after a prolonged and unintended hiatus, with a new rotating cast of guest co-hosts replacing my old comedic compadre John Oliver, who is, he claims, too busy to do the show any more. I think he's running a hot-dog stand in Manhattan or something. I forget. Anyway, he's busy, but The Bugle is back, and I've loved doing it again."
"Other than that 'other than that', I'm still writing about cricket for ESPNcricinfo, thinking about cricket more than is medically advisable, and gearing up from a UK tour from February, and the Melbourne Festival in April."
If he's not coming to a theatre near you, our top topical gagsmith also has a new DVD out, Satirist for Hire, via the fine folks at Go Faster Stripe. Details below - but first, let's reminisce about this rectal prolapse of a year.
Can you remember your first gig of 2016?
I did my Satirist For Hire show at The Stand in Newcastle. I think it went well, from memory. I have no emotional scarring when I think about it, so I assume it was at least OK. I had a request to satirise Norwegian wind-farm developers. About time someone took those lunatics down a peg or two. January is fine for comedy, I think. Once people have got over the excitement of whatever Santa Claus gave them for Christmas.
Of all the gigs you did this year, which was your favourite?
I've had a hugely enjoyable year of gigs, including my first US tour, and my first full Edinburgh Festival run since 2011. My professional highlight, however, was joining the Test Match Special radio cricket commentary team, as scorer/statistician/occasional-quipster, fulfilling a dream held since even before I spent/squandered my rebellious teenage years reading cricket books.
And which appearance was the least fun?
The last gig of my US tour, in San Francisco, in front of a good and generous crowd, in a great venue, was considerably less fun than it should have been. It was de-funned by my having a significant cold. Dabbing mucus off your nose with a handkerchief does not generally improve the timing of a punchline. It was a bit of a struggle.
Your weirdest experience of the year, onstage or otherwise?
Making my TMS debut the morning after the Brexit referendum. Hours after David Cameron had resigned to spend more time with his regrets, I was sitting in the commentary box at Edgbaston with a ridiculous array of coloured pens, experiencing a swirling emotional cocktail of excitement, bafflement, nerves, and a deepening unease about the future. Odd day.
Who's the most disagreeable person you've come across in 2016, in person or the papers?
I have found Mr Gove to be something of a rotter this year. And Mr Trump is obviously an era-defining tool. But, although I have not met him personally, Bashar al Assad takes the Most Disagreeable Person of 2016 Award, for me, seeing off what has been an impressively strong field of HyperScoundrels. A genuine, platinum-grade cunt.
Trump and Brexit aside, what else have been fertile news topics for material this year?
Russia being naughty again. The general sense that the planet is going round the bend. And sport. There is always sport. It never lets us down.
How have you and other comics found Brexit material goes down with audiences? It sounds like Marcus Brigstocke is hating doing his bit...
It goes down well, generally. Although I imagine it varies from gig to gig and place to place. Whilst I was in favour of remaining in the EU, despite its many flaws, because I am a huge fan of my continent, on the plus side, Brexit should provide 50 or so years of material.
What do you reckon we'll be talking about come December 2017, presuming we haven't all been nuked?
(A) What Prime Minister Gove and President Pence will inflict on the world in 2018;
(B) Donald Trump receiving the Nobel Peace Prize, for agreeing to go on an immediate manned space mission to Neptune on the strict condition that all baddies in the world give up and lay down their weapons;
(C) Whether the Queen's 2017 Christmas message can possibly outdo her legendary 2016 "fuck me, it's been a weird year, hasn't it?" effort.
2016: The Certifiable History is at the Soho Theatre from 22nd Dec to Jan 7th, then Andy tours his new show Plan Z from February onwards - visit andyzaltzman.co.uk for tickets.
For the DVD, head over to gofasterstripe.com
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