Tony Law - Comedy Auction interview

The first Comedy Auction will be in London this weekend (Saturday 2nd March). Hosted by Tony Law, the format will see real things - from a tiny cheese-grater to a kazoo - being auctioned.

Not entirely sure what to expect, we reached out to Tony to find out more...

Tony, you're always so busy. How's the tour going?

I'm incredible. I really am. Just constantly touring. Up to 4 shows a week. It's so tiring. But I love it. You know it's important to get the work out there. To let it breath. Read. Parent. Write. Dog. Message. It's a life. My work in Absurdity is just so necessary. Tickets still available by the way. Here! mrtonylaw.com

And, in your spare time, we've seen you as a judge in the court of This Is Your Trial. But what's this new role you've taken on?

I'm an auctioneer; chief auctioneer. It's an auction show. And I use a gavel. I'm an auctioneer now.

What, like a proper auction?

Yes. A real auction. Of course. We've got a load of things - weird things, desirable things - for the good people in the audience to try-to-buy. They need to bid what they think they're worth.

Is it funny?

It might be. I find it hard to tell. The others are laughing when we practice. You must ask them. Define funny anyways.

Is it just you selling things?

No. And yes. But. There's a lot of admin with auctions. I don't do admin. I have a team working for me. Ed Aczel is the inhouse expert; and Joz Norris, he's work experience. Dave and Jack [Producers David Allison and Jack Cheshire] are my clerks and of course Doreen. She's our secretary. We never see her though, she's on the other end of the phone dealing with that business.

So what happens? When does the bidding start?

First of all, there's a viewing, for the audience to take a look at the Lots they might want to bid for. We also have guest experts, who really know about the stuff being sold. When the auction starts, they share that knowledge and explain why each Lot is worth bidding for. Dave and Jack will always be at hand. I really have no idea what's happening but I like the company.

Is it real stuff being sold?

Oh yeah, it's all legit and verified by the experts. Nothing stolen. Very fine. There's something for everyone. Everyone with class. All carefully sourced from our clients and dealers. It's all listed in the catalogue.

And bought?

God damn right. Otherwise, the kids go hungry. It's a new business venture. We deliver an auction house service to people needing our help to sell their things. It's a free show, but we encourage people to buy our Auction Dollars so they can bid. It's the next big thing. Also it's pro-planet. They say that. Recycling I guess.

Auction Dollars? What are they?

It's our own currency. It'll make things a bit easier. They think. I guess we'll see. According to Ed, our currency expert, the current exchange rate is £2 for 100 Auction Dollars. Plus it makes my auctioneering sound cooler with bigger numbers. And hopefully people will get mixed up and bid really high. My advice? Bring between £10 and £20 and get rid of it. Then re-sell. Even at a later auction. I might get silenced saying that.

Ok, can you give us some examples of the goods on sale?

They come in fancy categories. There's Art. There's Memorabilia. Some International stuff. Mysterious. Others we put in the Miscellany category. I mean, describe an egg-cuber, or a 12 string guitar? Or a willy warmer, or a bust of Chairman Mao. Like I said, something for everyone. Quality. Guaranteed.

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When and where does this all take place?

Good question. Excellent one. It's on Saturday afternoon, March 2nd. From 3pm to 5pm and kids can come too. They'll learn tonnes of stuff from our guest experts Jess Fostekew and Tom Salinsky.

And it's in Angel, at the Bill Murray Pub. That beautiful home of comedy... and now auctions. If you don't come you hate the working classes and you ought to be ashamed. If you come we will have a great time. Dress olden times too. No reason.

Finally, is there any social media where we can see some of the Lots?

Errr, yeh. We're not idiots. Well, not all of us. Go see @comedyauction on Twitter. Same on Instagram and Facebook. We've made it dead easy. Look for the name of the show, Comedy Auction. Done. Deal made.