Kaleidoscope 2024: Brian Blessed, Simon Amstell and more - up a hill

Written by: Si Hawkins
Published: Tuesday 16th July 2024

Imagine trying to interview Brian Blessed. You've got a lovingly-researched list of questions all printed out, a couple of comfy armchairs set up, and the lighting all pointed in the right direction. Then one question in he's out of the chair, up stage-front and giving a lengthy monologue direct to the audience. It's a memorable way to begin Kaleidoscope 2024, that's for sure.

Blessed is one of the biggest - and earliest - names on the bill this year, and the festival happening at all is reason to rejoice. Last year's was cancelled at the 11th hour due to a worrying high-wind forecast, and the organisers must have been wary of the weather this time, given our wet and stormy summer so far. You can understand the wind concern too, as Kaleidoscope is based in the grounds of Alexandra Palace, one of the highest points in London; the views are worth seeing even before you look at the line-up. There's even a jauntily-decorated wind turbine, called Gusty Spinfield.

Ironically though - it being a lovely day - we spend a good chunk of it indoors, early on, as that's where the talky stuff happens; although everything inside Ally Pally is pretty grand to look at anyway, Blessed included.

He's on typically boisterous form, bellowing some glorious stories about Star Wars, I, Claudius, acing his NASA training to potentially become an astronaut, and doing Pavarotti on Stars In Their Eyes, complete with an impressive burst of some-opera-or-other. Namedrops clang all over the place, of course. That scarf? A gift from the Dalai Lama, who Brian quizzed about his sex life. But he's mainly intent on spreading positive vibes, about the environment, animal welfare, and peace generally.

It's interesting watching this 87 year-old hold court in light of the Biden business over the pond, actually. He may stumble over the occasional name, too, but would you follow him and the hawkmen into battle with Ming the Merciless? Exactly.

Speaking of wings, Katie McLeod is up next, wearing a spectacularly LED-lit pair as the redoubtable diamond-in-the-rough Karismaa, who comperes the festival's stand-up section. Following Blessed is obviously tricky, but she goes early, grabs the mic and does a hilarious running commentary on anyone looking like leaving, as Brian signs autographs and the stage is changed. A quality bit of crowd wrangling, that.

We then take a quick wander so miss Chloe Petts, sadly - the main stage outside, on a grassy slope with London's cityscape behind, must be one of the most scenic, anywhere - but reigning Edinburgh champion Ahir Shah, back in the comedy room, is a good act to catch after an election.

He makes full use of the sizeable stage, darting about energetically while musing amusingly on his conflicted views about Sunak, that landslide and - like Blessed - NASA (this big indoor space with fake grass does feel a bit like their upcoming isolation experiment), before finishing with a general message of hope. Although he does also predict an England victory in the football. Can't win 'em all.

The comedy stage at a festival is an interesting place to gauge a person's popularity, outside of regular comedy-goers. A big group come in specifically for next act Sophie Duker, for example, then leave straight after. Resplendent in orange leather, probably pleather, Duker is in proper festival rabble-rousing mood, cranking up the noise, picking out mad punters she met outside, and no doubt luring passers-by to the stage, if this weren't indoors. But it does suddenly feel like we're up the front of a big outdoor gig, as her contemplations on coolness merge into more whoop-inducing crowdwork. She's a stand-up pop star.

And finally, a man who knows a bit about pop, although Simon Amstell has come a long way from his kid-friendly TV days. His headline set is quite an energy shift from Duker's crowd-pleasing turn, clearly working through material from his new show and frequently referring to notes on a back-to-the-audience chair, which can really kill the flow unless you flag it up early doors.

The theme here is Amstell's self-esteem improving. At one point he recalls getting no laughs at a recent festival, and feeling fine about it - that's not quite the response here, although he only really raises the roof when things go slightly awry. This set is definitely more suited to a smaller, more intimate space and one particularly explicit bit causes as much hush as hilarity, what with lots of kids knocking about. Then a toddler, with absolutely perfect comic timing, wanders into the big gap between our fake-grassy knoll and the stage.

"Hello!" says the slightly startled purveyor of filth, to a lad called Sonny. Which is very funny. Unfortunately he then goes back to the self-reflective material, which just isn't very festival-friendly. Oh well. No matter, as after venturing outside to catch The Go! Team and DJ/cartoonist Mr Scruff, this Fringe stage is soon rocking again with the saucy blasphemy of Oh My God it's the Church - naughty nuns! - then the fairly self-explanatory Hip-Hop Karaoke.

The highlight of the latter show - aside from the laid-back lad doing Warren G's Regulate - is a couple of tiny kids making the long walk to the stage, while the rest of us wonder 'what on earth are they allowed to rap'? It turns out to be the relatively safe Can't Touch This, by MC Hammer. Who even went on to become an ordained minister.

What a blessed evening.