Zoe Lyons - Smiling Through Gritted Teeth
Published: Thursday 17th January 2013
Brighton-based stand-up Zoe Lyons talks about how comedians battle with the elements and public transport to bring laughs to the nation...
It is freezing outside but I am sitting in the comfort of my own home, decked out almost entirely in clothes made from fleece and thermal materials with a hot mug of mega-strength coffee steaming away beside me. Tis a tiny bit blissful, if indeed you are anything like me and your expectations of what is joyful have been reduced to the feel of soft fabrics and warm fluids.
However, this moment of zen like euphoria has just been entirely dashed by the bloody weatherman on the box. He has gleefully just told me (and the rest of the nation I suspect, I am beginning to fear our relationship is not an exclusive one) that there is a band of snow moving across the country and it is predicted that there will be much travel disruption this Friday.
His exact words were and I quote, "So, if you are thinking of travelling this Friday you may want to make alternative arrangements".
On hearing these words my mouth falls open slightly and a small waterfall of coffee dribbles onto my fleece wear. 'Make alternative arrangements if considering travelling on Friday?' Is this man with his cheeky smile and shiny suit nuts? We are a nation of some 63 million people - is he suggesting that we all stay at home because of less than perfect weather conditions?
Besides, us comedians can't make alternative travel arrangements on a Friday night, we have gigs to get to, they have been in the diary for months, we can't not show up because of a bit of pesky precipitation. There are faces out there that need a laugh desperately. Stuff what the AA claims, I like to think of comedians as the fourth emergency service!
Then I had a flashback (this is how I like to recall things, flashbacks are a bit more dramatic) to December 2010. They had predicted snow on the weather forecast but I had gone to London none the less to fill my obligation of 20 minutes of my finest at The 99 Club, Leicester Square. The first innocent flake of snow fell delicately from the sky just as my train home pulled out of Victoria Station at 9.30pm and by 10.30pm I was trapped on a train stuck in snow! My normally one hour long journey turned into a 9 hour chilblain-inducing epic. Size doesn't really matter when it comes to snow in the UK, 3 inches is adequate to screw the entire country. And they lied in those Christmas songs, because there certainly isn't any 'Dashing' through that stuff here, although the 'one horse open sleigh' maybe moderately quicker than a stranded train.
So, as I prepare to go on tour across this land with all the travel disruptions it has to throw at me, I salute comedians everywhere in their brave battle with the elements and public transport. Wear a sensible pant, pack a thermos and pop a shovel in the boot, Lord knows I have had to dig my way out of gigs before!
Thanks to Zoe for this blog post, and we wish her all the very best weather wise for her forthcoming 'Pop-up Comic Tour'. Tour Dates
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