Marlon Davis: My Comedy 11
Published: Monday 3rd March 2014
Some of you may know me as a comedian, however in my free time I am a massive fan of the computer game franchise Football Manager.
My football career has seen me decorated as one of the most successful managers to have ever been in a dug out - I've won championships all over the world. Move over José Mourinho and Arsène Wenger, you've never taken little ol' Fleetwood Town to Champions League glory.
A friend of mine recently asked that, if I were to construct a team of comedians, who make my comedy 11?
1. Goalkeeper: What you want in a goalkeeper is a safe pair of hands. Someone you could trust, and for me Lenny Henry is that guy. If you need a safe black guy... you go to Lenny Henry. You need a safe host for a charity event... Lenny Henry is your man. You need a place to sleep safe at night... etc.
2. Right Back: Reluctantly, Louis CK. I say that because he's become the stock answer to 'that' question: 'who's your favourite comedian?'. He's like Gary Neville in a way - you might not like him but have to agree there's nobody is currently better than him in his position.
3. Centre Back: What you want is someone who gives blood, sweat and tears here and for that reason I pick Lee Evans. The man sweats buckets.
4. Centre Back: Another quality of a centre back is the ability to read the game. So I'm going to put observationalist Michael McIntyre in here for his skill of seeing what others can't see.
5. Left Back: They work tirelessly and should get more praise. I pick Curtis Walker. He is a genius. I used to watch him on The Real McCoy as a child and act out his routines in the playground. I've had the pleasure of working with him many times. Every year he gets funnier and funnier.
6. Winger: Someone who plays between the lines and isn't afraid of crossing it. For me that's Chris Rock.
7. Holding Midfielder: You need someone who just sits there and plays it simple. For that reason I'm going to put Bill Cosby here. The man can just sit on a stool and hold your attention for hours.
8. Creative Midfielder: Someone who can produce a bit of magic from nowhere. For me that's got to be Dave Chappelle. You never know where he's going and all over a sudden he kills you with a punchline.
9. The Complete Centre Forward: Has to be Richard Pryor. He revolutionised the game by bringing it forward with his confessional style of stand-up comedy.
10. Striker: You need someone here who bullies defenders and, when given a chance, shows how lethal they can be. For that reason I pick Patrice O'Neal.
11. Winger: Wingers need a bit of flair and there is nobody cooler than Eddie Murphy. You got to have flair to pull off those leather suits.
That completes my comedy 11. My friend asked where would they play their games? I said 'Wembley, of course!'.
Marlon Davis will be performing at London's Soho Theatre on the 7th and 8th February 2014. For more information and tickets visit www.sohotheatre.com
To find out more about Marlon visit www.marlondavis.co.uk. You can also follow him on Twitter: @marlon_davis
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