Circuit Training 39: The Stade We're In

It's one of the more interesting comedy careers. Sometime in the last century Tom Stade was whisked from his native Canada and locked into a lucrative deal with a big US TV network, which eventually came to nought, so he relocated to a log cabin in his native country, then on to the gleaming spires of, er, Wolverhampton, and a low-key career on the UK stand-up circuit.

Things have picked up considerably over the last couple of years for the laconic comic. An appearance on Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow made its customary impact, although the series he then had a more significant hand in, Frankie Boyle's Tramadol Nights, was a bit less accessible, to put it mildly. Is he full of regret and remorse for such sweary filth? Is he fuck.

We meet Tom at a nice café in his current abode, Edinburgh, family in tow, as he warms up for the second half of his hefty UK tour.

How's tricks, Tom?

You have caught me at a very mellow moment, I don't feel spazzy right now which is really nice.

How long have you been in the UK?

About seven or eight years I think. And it's blown up man, it has.

Did the spot on Michael McIntyre make a big difference?

That's the one. All of a sudden that was one of the most important shows because - how many people have you got watching it? So many million, plus over the years you've had it repeated on Dave, Comedy Central, all this sort of stuff, so all of a sudden it's not just a stand-up show, it's like a sitcom. Because you're in their house almost every day.

I captured them with one stupid - well, not stupid - one really good routine. The meat van one seemed to resonate with English people more than [routines by] the other guys who were doing great stuff but just jokes. This one seemed to hit them in the heart. It threw me how many people told me their meat van things.

Now the real trick is, I have to break away from this and go a whole different direction or I'm screwed because you'll get pigeonholed into being one kind of comedian. At least now you've got their attention. I'm going to lose fans and gain fans all at the same time. I'm just hoping that my birth rate is a little higher than my death rate.

Those McIntyre viewers might be shocked by your live stuff. I saw your Edinburgh show and it's evil in places...

I've come up with this: I know I'm a good person, so anything coming out of my mouth is not evil. I know what the right thing to do is, I know all that sort of stuff, so I'm going "okay, well let's see what my Darth Vader side would laugh at." And he's pretty good, he's thrown out some really fucked up shit. I've got even more in the pipeline, but this was just the stuff that I thought would make a good show.

Do you get many walkouts?

I've had a couple.

I think there was one the night I saw it. He said he was going to the toilet, but he never came back...

I have seen guys walk out, but they help the show because everybody sees how silly it is. One time, the guy stormed out the wrong door and he couldn't get out, so he was stuck in there having to listen to me make fun of him whilst he was behind the door, and I knew he was there. So he couldn't walk back in.

So what happened, did he stay out there?

Yeah, his brain couldn't handle it man. He actually thought I was pro-seal killing.

That was a self-deprecating Canadian thing, I recall: you slagged Americans off then slagged Canadians off too, which made a nice change. You don't hear enough about Canadians being sadistic.

Tell me anything that's evil, if you say it like you enjoy it, it sounds ridiculous. Tramadol Nights was an example of that. If we didn't have somebody complaining about it and making it sound like it's horrible, it would have just fallen off the radar, no one would have watched that.

So how did you get involved?

Just old buddies, man: I've known Frankie a long time and we've had some good times. So he said "do you want to write this show? They're going to give us some money to write a show and they said I've got pretty much a blank check to write it," so Frankie brought in probably the coolest people I have ever met and we just went to town on it. And you know what, we wrote that show knowing damn well that we are doing what we think is funny, we're not gauging it on the demographic, we're not gauging it on "oh I hope they like this." Every sketch we wrote we laughed our guts out and thought that was the funniest thing.

The DVD sales will be interesting, it being so infamous now.

Tramadol Nights is going to go through the roof because it's such a one-off. I mean, Channel 4 got sued or something and lost billions of dollars to Jordan and her retarded child... I'm sorry Jordan, I didn't mean to say that. But Harvey just made her a whole bunch more money, which is good for you, Harvey. "Harvey we are all proud of you, making your mum a whole bunch of law money."

I think we all admire Jordan really.

Yeah of course we do. If you don't you'll get sued.

Tell me about your dealings with US TV then - you had a deal at one point?

Yeah we did a little holding deal. That was in the days that they gave those things away.

Do they not anymore?

I don't think so, nobody wants to fork out dough for a 'maybe', they're not going to sit there and go, "hey I'm going to pay you $150,000 just to sit in LA and not work for anybody else in case we need you."

Like with Seinfeld: they had him earmarked as a potential chat show host, and just gave him the sitcom for something to do.

That's what they call a development deal, and a development deal is different than a holding deal. Holding deals are gone now, just to hold people.

Right, so you were parked?

Yeah, I was parked.

You were like a mistress that was put up in a flat?

Yeah man, but a nice flat and I had a really good time, learnt a lot, got to watch from the outside, watch it through my rear view mirror, going "what the fuck is going on, is that Seinfield doing a deal over there?"

You must have thought you were heading for superstardom though?

At that time? Oh god yeah, at that time my whole life was comedy. It's like anything, you've got to grow out of it to realise that it's just one thing that you do. When you're really young you don't see those other things, the blinkers are on and you do think you're a big star, which destroys it because you look desperate: "if it doesn't happen, my whole life is ruined."

It must be hard to get over that.

This is something I've always said and it keeps me always in a grounded mode: I wanted to be a comedian, and I already achieved that a long time ago. I got to the point where I knew I could make a couple of hundred dollars every show, so for the rest of my life I've got every show covered. Now if it goes past £200 it's all gravy, and that's why I'm not that troubled if we go ballistic. I mean, don't think I don't want to...

You've got the British mentality now, where it's all about the live stuff, rather than TV?

The one thing I did learn about LA, you can win all the awards you want, but TV has a certain thing, a certain look, and if you're missing one part of that package TV will hate you and destroy you. You can be the funniest guy in the world but if chicks aren't sitting there loving you... I mean this was a famous quote: 'women make stars.' Men don't make stars. Men don't want some rock star with a huge cock fucking their girlfriend. But if their girlfriend likes them, he has to like them.

Look at Michael McIntyre, he's so accessible, but even Frankie Boyle is accessible because for some reason people will accept Frankie being the controversial person he is. There are guys that are better at doing it than both of them, but they don't have that package that sets it all up, you know? And nobody knows if they do [have it] until it actually starts happening.

It's being able to compromise I suppose...

This is the first year I've come off shows and had PR people telling me what material to do and all that sort of stuff. If I was Monet and my agent came behind me and said "you know what, I don't like that colour green, I think you should do something else," I'd be like, "Yeah shut up, whatever, just sell this shit okay?" You're watching agents try to become artists because they think they know.

And you'd rather just let your Mrs do it...

Trudy gets pissed because she's a planner and I'm not. I'm like "I'd rather you txt me the night before and tell me where I'm going and that'll be great. Then I'll get there and that'll be awesome."

So how long are you touring for?

I think I'm touring for about three months, but I haven't even looked at where I'm at. I think the future is a very far away place.

Tom tours the UK until the end of November, including a show at the Brighton Comedy Festival on 13th October. Visit www.tomstade.co.uk for details

[i]You can get 2-for-1 tickets to see Tom at Highlight Camden on Friday 14th October as part of Dave's Comedy Society. Details