Lil Wenker's MANual: Instructions for Being (at least slightly) Less Sexist at Fringe

Introduction

Hey Man, Dude, or Brother! How you freaking feeling about the best man month of your freaking life???? Can't wait for Fringe - right, dude? Yeah, me neither brother! But here's the skinny: you don't exactly have the best rep from years past. So let's make this a year to remember and Shut Sexism Down with this MANual, brought to you by me, The Baddest Man in Texas. Come on, fellas, let's get started!

Project Overview

In every generation, it takes one big man to step up and say, "Hey, brother, this isn't right." I am that big huge man. I want to educate all men, dudes, brothers, as I educated manself, on the sexism (bad!!!) that still saturates the revolutionary world of alternative comedy.

Getting Started

Find a woman, gal, ladyfriend.

Troubleshooting

Once you have found a woman, gal, ladyfriend, you will have to practice interacting with her in a non-sexist manner. Consent is crucial, so start by asking, "May I interact with you in a non-sexist manner?" If she says yes, you can proceed to step two.

For step two, you can try making conversation with her. Ask about her Fringe show, for example, and try active listening (nod up and down, keeping eyes firmly fixed on her eyes, "um" and "ah" at appropriate moments and thumbs up if and when you have understood her womanly thoughts). If you find yourself saying the words, "My one man show" within thirty seconds of meeting her, you've done something wrong. If you find yourself mistaking her politeness and light chit-chat with flirting, you've done something wrong. If you find yourself offering her a spot on your gig night in exchange for a date with you, you need to retreat into your man-cave and think about what you've done, best if you have a man sponsor to help you through this so as not to require any ladylike labour.

Finally, step three: authentically wishing her well and reminding yourself she is neither your girlfriend nor your wife. Just because you spoke to her does not mean she is your girlfriend, nor your wife. If she even needs to remind you that she is neither your girlfriend nor your wife, take a manly note and back the frick off.

Maintenance and Care

Exercise: A woman, gal, ladyfriend is experiencing some sort of stress.

Practice saying, "Are you ok?" and meaning it. Wait to hear her answer and continue back and forth, as if in conversation. Act like you actually care. Really picture it! She is a wounded heifer, and you are the gigantic man here to save the day. (To be absolutely crystal-freaking-clear, heifer is a metaphor to relate my man-life to her lady-life, not a comment on her female form.)

Frequently Asked Questions

In the process of writing this MANual, I let real men, dudes, and brothers write in questions which were answered by a panel of real, live, adult women. Here's what you, and they, had to say:

Q (Matt from Bath, England): How did you get a run at SOHO?
A (real life woman): I worked hard, I made a great show, and I am always kind to the people I work with.

Q: (Dave from Leamington Spa) How did you get that reviewer in?
A: I worked hard, I made a great show, and I am always kind to the people I work with.

Q: (Ed from Edinburgh) How did you sell out so many of your shows?
A: I worked hard, I made a great show, and I am always kind to the people I work with.

There were many more questions that came in, but I decided not to print them all because the women ... always had the same response? In the past, before I learned how to be Slightly Less Sexist at Fringe, I would have said "women are so predictable, always harping on about being 'self-made women', who did you frick to get there, Miss Thing?!" Now I know that kind of language needs to be SHUT DOWN and we need to LIFT UP our female...equals.

Keep slaying, my ladies! GIRLPOWER! HERstory is no longer a MYstery now that I've made my MANual. Let's have a good (and by good I mean safe, accountable, and responsible) Fringe, boys.