Jim Judges offers tips to Edinburgh Fringe visitors

Written by: Jim Judges
Published: Thursday 17th August 2023

Jim Judges, the comedian behind the Health & Safety Expert comedy character Ian Crawford, presents his essential survival guide for visitors and performers braving the whirlwind of the Edinburgh Fringe...

Physical exercise

Make sure you pack a pair of trainers, as you'll be performing cardio every day. It is a fact that even the Physics department at the University of Edinburgh struggle to explain: apart from the showbiz career and bank balance of the performers taking part, everything is guaranteed to be on the up in Edinburgh.

Stay social

Bond with fellow audience members while queuing for shows. This can be a good chance to pick up invaluable word of mouth recommendations from the friends/parents/agents of performers at other shows.

Limit alcohol

When in Edinburgh it can be tempting to sample a dram or two of Scotch whisky but remember to pace yourself. Do not try to match the locals, they have built up a resistance to the stuff using a traditional concoction that mixes haggis, the poetry of Robbie Burns and the despondency caused by the introduction of the Edinburgh tram.

Eat healthy

Pickled onion Space Raiders can count as one of your five a day north of the border, but try to maintain a healthy and varied diet. You may dabble in local delicacies like deep-fried Mars Bars or the mythical 'pizza crunch' (battered pizza) but try to balance it by drinking some diet Irn Bru.

Watch your step

The cobblestones of the old town get extra slippery as days go by, mainly due to the combination of the blood, sweat and performers' tears and broken dreams. If you do injure yourself, remember the Fringe's unofficial motto: "The show/audience must limp on." Pack a first aid kit full of bandages, painkillers, and a tube of self-pity.

Sleep

Catching a few winks during some shows is the Fringe goers' secret weapon, just try not to snore too loudly or you may find yourself invited onto stage to take part in a surreal end of show finale. Although anything that brings joy to the other two audience members is surely worth doing.

Ear plugs

If you do manage to get to bed then you will need these to drown out the cheers and applause from the packed performances at the elusive six star show that you wished you had gone to see. FOMOOTF (Fear of missing out on the Fringe) is a real condition and can turn even the deepest slumbers into fretful dreams of missed opportunities.

Time management

The Fringe runs on its own version of creative time, where five minutes can feel like an hour, at least in some shows (Much Ado About Love Island the Improvised Musical anyone?), and 'tomorrow' as in "stars of tomorrow", may never come. Adjust your internal clock accordingly.

And finally, have a word with yourself

Remember, you are here to experience the beautiful chaos of the world's largest arts festival. Every laugh, every tear, every overpriced drink in a plastic glass is all part of the fun. But remember whatever you do, make sure you keep smiling and stay super safe at the Fringe.