Garrett Millerick: life happens when you're making other plans

The world's angriest optimist is finally bringing a positive show to the Fringe. After plans for this show were derailed in previous years by live events that just HAD to become the focus of the show they postponed, Garrett Millerick takes a look at the human propensity to convince ourselves everything is terrible and muses whether, while the world is very far from perfect, perhaps we really have Never Had It So Good.

No deviations from your planned show this year, huh? It'll be exactly as the brochure describes it...?

Life is what happens when you're making other plans. Every year I say I'm not going to do another show, then the cobbled Edinburgh streets call around November. Then my resolve is to write an uncomplicated joyous show, a simple stand-up show about the beauty of life. I guess I must just be a sucker for the warm glow of the Christmas period. Then the new year rolls around, things seem fine, the brochure entry goes in. And then around March fortune detonates a grenade in my vicinity... So yeah, it's going to be a more interesting show than the one described in the brochure. Which given that the show as described is pretty interesting, should be one hell of an incentive to buy a ticket.

If you were put in charge of making the world better, what one thing would you hope to achieve above any other?

I'd like to introduce the idea that everyone is, in the main, just doing their best, very few people have malign intent and most conflict is based on misunderstanding and lack of communication. That's a bit of a tall order, so maybe I'd just settle for reliable 5G coverage.

What is your second favourite place to go at the Fringe? We assume you won't tell us what your actual fave is in case we all show up and spoil it.

The zoo. The monkeys have a practised nonchalance that I find very comforting.

You have been asked to give a cover quote for the book How To Write A Self Help Book. What do you write?

"If you're reading this, you've already failed."

What's the best complaint you've ever heard someone give?

A few years ago, a cinema event in London had to be delayed by 24 hours due to some unavoidable administrative cock up. It was one of those things where you pay over the odds to see a film you've already seen, and bored actors try to re-create your favourite scenes as you drink over-priced craft ale in a poor recreation of the set, dressed as one of the characters. Like being trapped in an ill-conceived student play for an evening.

The cancellation was so notable that it was covered on the evening news. They'd managed to find some disgruntled would-be attendees to gripe about how their evening had been ruined. It was delightful. This couple from Bolton appeared in full fancy dress to rant with the rabid conviction of people who had been deliberately wronged, while dressed as Aldi versions of characters from their favourite film. The bloke had run out of things to say at one point, but was in quite a lather, and he looked down the lens and shouted 'YOU'VE MADE A PREGNANT WOMAN CRY!'. It was a magical moment. Some twats dressed as something they're not, ranting about minor inconveniences as if they were deliberate slights. It really summed up Modern Britain.