Aaron Simmonds: Baby Steps

Written by: Aaron Simmonds
Published: Friday 14th July 2023

This time last year, I could only stand up for roughly 20 minutes. This August, I'm performing stand-up for an hour every night (4.25pm but it's more showbiz to say night), standing up.

In the handbook of comedians, the FAQ section will include classic questions like "what's the best heckle you've ever received?" and "how did you get into comedy?". My best heckle was televised and went viral, so the bar to answer the second question is pretty high.

I would love to say it was a feat of comedic heroism where an act on stage was telling sexist and racist jokes, and I get out of my wheelchair, do a cartwheel and perform a perfect tight 10 on the spot. Cue 5 minutes later I'm being carried through the streets as the new greatest comedian ever, whilst being invited to the hottest parties with every celebrity in the country taking turns doing coke off Mr Blobby's belly.

The truth - while containing fewer cartoonish villains, cartwheels, and cocaine - was a bit truer to myself. I just thought "why not? It'll be a laugh." It was something I would do once, tell people I tried it, but wouldn't carry on doing because, as you know, I couldn't stand up.

One problem though, I loved it. And despite the barriers to being a disabled comedian, which is a topic for a different and much more serious article, I kept doing it without much thought behind it. "It was fun, I'm going to keep doing that fun thing."

It's now 9 years later. It's still fun, I'm still doing it, and I'm still loving it as much as I did the first gig. I love turning an idea into a joke, a joke into a story, and a collection of stories into a show. And I won't lie, l really want an invite to that elusive Mr Blobby coke and cocktails party.

My first time at the fringe, I was an extremely well established comedian having done a whole three gigs. My debut show was in 2019, second show in 2022. I then started with a blank page on September 1st 2022, which has turned into my new show, Baby Steps, which I will be performing at this year's Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

Up until last year, I'd never written a full show within a year. That was a real challenge, but it just wasn't enough of a challenge. I thought it might be fun to try stand-up like the rest of these guys have been doing it for a while now. Standing up.
In September of last year, I called my agent telling him that I wanted to do a show standing up for the first time. He asked me three questions:

Do you know what the show is about? Do you have lots of jokes that are ready to be put into a show? And most importantly are you physically able to stand up for an hour?

The answer to all three was "No".

"So to be clear, you want to spend 5 grand, on a show you haven't got an idea what it's about, that doesn't have any jokes in it yet, that you don't know that you can do physically?"

"Yes."

Oh, and if it can be in the hilliest city in the country where the cobbles make it virtually impossible to push a wheelchair anywhere that would be perfect.

But, as I write this at the beginning of July, I can stand for an hour, have a show I'm proud of, which includes a joke that cost me £200, and am ready to do the fringe the way the 'proper' comedians do, on my feet.

Should you come see the show? I think so, it's really good. Not only have I spent £200 on one joke, but it'll probably cost me my Disability Living Allowance as well.

Best come early in the run though, I'll be fucked by the end.

Oh, and if you want to see the best heckle I've ever received, it's here:

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Okay, Bye!