Garry Starr interview

Disgraced actor Garry Starr is going it alone this year. Following his dismissal from the Royal Shakespeare Company due to "artistic differences", he is determined to defy his critics by performing every single genre of theatre in under 60 minutes.

His show sounds interesting, so we thought we'd try and find out more. Below, un-edited in terms of the words used, is Garry's answers to our questions.

Garry Starr; what's with the leather jacket?

The jacket was created pacifically for me and the designer worked tirelessly to get it molded to my sculptured physique. It's made from ethically sourced dolphin skin which makes it incredibly breathable and water persistant. There is a rumour that I stole it from the RSC costume department but that claim is entirely unfounded. They weren't using it.

Finish this sentence. Royal Shakespeare Company, look at me now...

Phallustines!

You perform everything, did you fire everyone else on the show?

I wouldn't say I fired everyone. I did ask them not to come back and then changed the rehearsal venue without telling anyone. I also never paid them. I hear they're all doing really well though.

Mariano has returned to Pisa where he runs a living statue training academy called 'Still Acting?'. Lulu now plays violin for the Royal Ballet, no matter how often they ask him not to. He's really incestent. Boulette has a solo show of her own called Thinking In The Rain which hasn't been easy to perform this Summer.

Your clown collective; is it plagued by idiots?

It certainly was, but thankfully I've managed to ejaculate all the ignoranuses. Now that it's just me in the company I am able to create work which is far more affective at effecting my audience. I've received lots of standing ovulations. I've had a consideratable amount of training as a physical theatre performer and I believe that without the use of words One can paint beautiful, livid pictures with One's body. I think Ronan Keating said it best when he said that thing that he said about saying it best when you say nothing all.

You have 60 seconds to explain your one hour show. Go!

Upon being unfairly dislodged from the RSC due to 'artistic differences' I decided to take it upon myself to single-handedly save the performing arts by mounting this show in which I perform every single genre of theatre thus saving the performing arts from unevitable extinction. Expect everything from Shakespeare to Butoh to Cirque Nouveau. Plus I take my clothes off.