2017 Edinburgh Fringe

Interview

Three questions with hard-living, veteran cult comedian Stuart Black.

Is it really the end of the world as we know it?

Yes. Sorry, but it's the truth. I don't know how long it will take. It could drag out for a couple of years, who knows? Put it this way: if you just planted a load of broccoli, then don't worry they'll be delicious. If you just planted a tree, then you wasted your time. Your grandchildren will never get to climb it. I know nothing about gardening but that sounds correct. Trees are slower or whatever. The point is we're doomed.

Even if the world isn't literally over, it has changed and can never go back. That's one of the worst things about Trump. Because of him the Right have realised that nothing matters anymore. They don't even have to try and hide who they are now. Trump is so bad that I miss George W. He seems like he was alright. Shit, Trump's so bad I've started to miss Reagan!

What's the one piece of news you've seen this year that has really made you say, "For fuck's sake"?

Just one! I have to pick one! Has there been anything in the news that didn't make me say that? I could go with: Saudi Arabia chairing a UN human rights committee whilst publicly beheading people; Philip Davies taking a seat on the 'Women and Equalities Committee' then calling for it to drop the word 'women' from the title. I mean come on Philip, you have to also drop the word 'and' or will just be the 'and Equalities Committee'. I could also mention literally everything Trump has said and done. Okay, let's go with Theresa May and the DUP. That was next-level fucked up.

Tell us about the most ill-advised thing you've ever done.

I took ecstasy and acid while driving around London. I didn't mean to, it was sort of an accident. Okay, here's what happened. I was living in Brighton at the time, and me and my friends would go clubbing in Brighton every week, but sometimes, as a treat, we drove up to London to a club called Trade, somewhere in the East End. I say "we" drove, I was the only one with a car. And, to make it worse Trade didn't open till 4am, so while my friends got high, I was just on Evian for the first part of the night.

I didn't mind driving because that was the deal. Trade was amazing but you absolutely had to be gay or a member of the club to get in. I was neither, but my friends were gay. Like super flamboyantly gay and they vouched for me in return for driving.

When we left the club in Brighton we'd bundle into my van and head for London. I'd finally have my pills roughly at Croydon so when we got to the club I'd be coming up nicely. This night I had what we used to call a candy flip. Oh god, do they still call it that? I have no idea, but I probably sound so old saying that. Like an ageing beatnik saying "reefer". So anyway, as I recall Tower Bridge was closed and I stupidly turned east to find the next bridge (there isn't one east) and I got totally lost. This was about 1991 by the way, so forget about sat-nav. We were somewhere like Deptford when I started coming up. In the end I went through the Rotherhithe tunnel. I was tripping balls. It was actually really beautiful with the music blasting. Happy ending: we made it to the club.