2017 Edinburgh Fringe

Interview

Three questions with Australian comedians Brendon Burns and Craig Quartermaine.

How did you two meet?

Brendon: We met when I went to interview Craig for my podcast Dumb White Guy. I asked around our home town if there was an Indigenous Australian that did comedy and everyone pointed towards Craig saying, and I quote, "You gotta meet Craig, you two will get on great. He's got jokes that make white people really uncomfortable and a massive chip on his shoulder". Not sure how that was a compliment to either one of us. When I met him, I did something stupidly racist, I admitted to it and apologised. He knew I had but I'm guessing found my admission refreshing, we hit it off and the rest is insignificant history.

Craig: In a crazy coincidence Brendon's parents owned my grandparents so the references were impeccable... No, I jest, in 2016 Brendon was looking for a guest on his Dumb White Guy podcast and I fitted the bill but didn't feel I was a worthy guest until he was able to recite his favourite joke of mine. I felt more comfortable when I realised Brendon understood my humour and what I was trying to do.

You are (we think!) the first major non-sketch comedy double act in the UK since Newman and Baddiel - are you bringing back the genre?

Brendon: Not entirely sure how any single word of that claim is true, starting at "major". Essentially we're a necessary crutch for one another right now. I give him a leg up and he makes me marketable. I wish I could say together we fight crime, but we don't, we barely fight racism. We hopefully ease some tension in our stories and we'll ride this puppy 'til the wheels fall off, but when they do we're outta here.

Craig: Hopefully not. If we are, it's purely by accident? At that rate we are the first Aries, Scorpio double act to both have flat feet. I'm too distracted by the inherited advantages of teaming up with a 46-year-old Caucasian, i.e. queue jumping and limitless accommodation upgrades, to be conscious of our place in history. I am conscious of the idea that we are the first to attempt this discussion using Brendon's subtle observations off the back of my massive following.

Considering the nature of your show on racism, what remark or action has made you cringe most recently?

Craig: The beauty of these sort of moments is there will always be water in the well. The moments when people feel that they are able to express their opinions to me on race or race relations can be particularly cringeworthy especially if I'm their only reference point. But the impulse for people to critique my appearance and how it doesn't meet their expectations is easily the worst because it's a combination of their surprise coupled with the tone that I'm not holding up my end of the bargain.

Brendon: We've had everything from people opening with their attachment to the community or the Indig folks they know, to one dude gesturing to friends of Craig's with their hands as if they didn't speak English. Only yesterday we did a preview in London and a white lady had the balls to lecture us that we didn't know our audience well enough because we kept contextualising our dynamic for the UK crowd and she was Australian so therefore she totally "got" everything. Bear in mind we were literally gigging underneath the London Eye at the time and she felt we hadn't acclimatised the show for her enough. She followed all this up by declaring that ours was obviously a West Australian problem because she was from the Eastern States of Australia.