2017 Edinburgh Fringe

Three Questions With... The Balkan bad Boys of Puppetry - Boris and Sergey

(Answers by Sergey, not Boris - Boris was not invited to partake)

If you were in a fight, would Boris or Sergey win?

I taught Boris everything he knows, I am like the Morpheus to his Neo, the Apollo to his Rocky. So if it came down to it and believe me, it has a few times, I would take him down. I would most likely use my special move where I sacrifice a puppeteer and call on a thunder bolt from the gods. We often have to do this, all puppeteers know the value of a sacrifice, unless they're from RADA, I suppose it's because they paid so much money they don't want to leave their family in too much debt.

We're thinking of going to the Balkans on holiday, what top tourists attractions would you recommend?

The lake, it's the big one with the water in. You should also go and see the forest... that's near the lake. To be honest we left the Balkans at a young tender age so I have very little memory of that place. It was really cold so if you're into being cold then you should definitely go.

I think I still have an Uncle there although last I heard he got turned into a leather boot so if you see anyone with leather boots on, say hi from me, although he's not too big physical contact so perhaps avoid that. You seem like a boot stroker kinda of person.

What are the best and worst things about being one foot tall?

The best thing is that you can sneak into places without being seen. We have been at all the Oscars, Award ceremonies and Brothels around the country. I once sat on Orlando Bloom's knee for an entire ceremony. I planned it as I knew he wouldn't be getting up for the evening to accept any awards.

The worst part of it is that people think we are cute, they try to tickle our bellies and say things like 'Arrghh look at the little puppets, aren't they adorable'. NO! I am not adorable, I say. I am the opposite of your adorable vision, I will find where you live and when you wake up in the middle of the night hearing my tiny pattering feet running towards you, you will not think I am adorable then... sorry got a little carried away.