Tom Ward: 10 Edinburgh Fringe questions

Tom Ward answers 10 questions about his 2016 Edinburgh Fringe show...

Give us a quick overview of your comedy career so far. Are you happy with where you're at?

I'm very happy with where I'm at, 2016 has been golden like a Texas sky in late September. I started in 2011, hovering around open mike gigs like Rutger Hauer in The Hitcher... doing one a week for a year or two... floundering and forgetting and speaking towards my shoes with a slow voice that I thought sounded really cool.

2013 was better, got to my first competition final at Leicester Square Theatre, and did my first Edinburgh, sharing an hour with two others. I committed properly in 2014 and got to BBC Radio New Comedy Award Final. I did a new joke in the final, which was exciting. I recommend all acts of potential self-sabotage as an excellent and natural legal high.

Tell us two truths and one lie about yourself (but mix them up, keep us guessing!).

1. I am a crisp and focused drunk.

2. I am a generous lover.

3. I like sitting in the dark on my days off, listening to 80's indie and synth-pop.

Describe your new show in exactly 23 words.

A celebratory tour of life...via love, 80's music and impressions of kitchen utensils, Jools Holland, my mum, airbags, Cher and Casio Keyboards.

Any cunning plans to get more punters in?

Be a charming bastard to everyone I meet.

What's your plan for trying to eat - and drink - healthily during the Fringe?

I am quite good at healthy stuff anyway; I've eaten cashew nuts for lunch every day for two years, and make smoothies, do yoga, and generally ponce around trying to stay Zen. I intend to bring all this to Edinburgh and mix it with some boozy nights with my comedy brothers and sisters as part of a healthy and balanced lifestyle of control / regret.

What will you miss most while you're away from home?

My routine. Being able to truly escape at any given moment if I hate myself or comedy on any given day.

Aside from performing, what else are you looking forward to doing in Scotland's fine capital?

Watching shows I'd never normally watch, like weird movement-based stuff or people banging things and chanting, hanging around old buildings, chatting to people London life stopped me chatting to. Looking at classical guitarist Tom Ward on the mile, with his long finger nails, smooth features and faraway eyes, marveling at how different our lives are in spite of name.

If you took over programming a Fringe venue, what would your perfect line-up of comedians be?

Eddie Izzard, Vic & Bob, Jeff Innocent, Ben Norris, Birthday Girls.

Name the one person you'd rather not bump into during the festival.

My ex-girlfriend. I'd be rattled like a spring door stop. The next show or two would be a write-off. Then again it might be quite nice to clear the air. Love's a bitch, hey? All or nothing.

Why should audiences pick your show over the 1,800+ other Fringe offerings listed on BCG this year?

Cos I make jokes about Tupperware sexy again, and do the best impressions of kettles, toasters and Jools Holland in the western world.

'Tom Ward: Sex, Snails and Cassette Tapes' is at Pleasance Courtyard at 9:45pm until the 28th August. Listing