Jake Yapp: 10 Edinburgh Fringe questions

Jake Yapp answers 10 questions about his 2016 Edinburgh Fringe show...

Give us a quick overview of your comedy career so far. Are you happy with where you're at?

Hi! I had my first sketch on Radio 4's Week Ending when I was 16, in, er, 1990? It got onto Pick of the Week. It has been a steady decline since then. I did lots of stuff for broadcast, but shied away from stand-up for a long time. I tried it a couple of times when I was about 21. The dark patch on my trousers was by far the funniest thing in it.

I tried again at about 25. And I did improv when I was about 30, but that was when I was living in the States, so it doesn't count, because people will just whoop nicely to cover any awkward bouts of onstage crying, organ failures etc.

I did Edinburgh in '08 and '09, and then came away and had a rethink, and now - well, now I'm ready. And happy. It's very nice of you to ask. Eddie Izzard, when asked a similar question about his talent, and why didn't he start sooner, said something about it being no good giving a 17-year-old a Ferrari - they wouldn't know what to do with it. It's a good analogy. Being amusing isn't the only component of being good at stand-up.

Tell us two truths and one lie about yourself (but mix them up, keep us guessing!).

1. I once got bent over a BBC washbasin by one of the panellists on Never Mind The Buzzcocks

2. I once sat on Pamela Anderson's hotel bed and offered her fifty thousand dollars for her services for the evening. There was another man involved.

3. I once saw Sir Ben Kingsley standing at a urinal in a public toilet and told him I admired his Gandhi. He wasn't amused.

Describe your new show in exactly 23 words.

It's a re-imagining of Chekhov's 'Three Sisters' set in post-war Berlin, with the music of Depeche Mode and - shit, that's someone else's show!

Any cunning plans to get more punters in?

My show's one selling point is that I open with an attempt to recreate the whole Edinburgh Fringe experience in five minutes, which could potentially save people literally dozens of pounds, and several hours of life they could never otherwise get back. It's gone really well in previews, but I can't wait to see how it does up here. Also, the Wee Coo, where I'm playing is warm, and (mostly) dry.

What's your plan for trying to eat - and drink - healthily during the Fringe?

I don't know, man. I think I am doing it right this year. I am staying outside Edinburgh, by the sea, with lots of fresh air and that. But I'm staying in a trailer park, and I just looked in the little onsite Spar. I had a feeling they'd have chinned me if I'd asked if they had soy milk. All the food in there seems to be designed to promote constipation, which makes me wonder about the sewage facilities here. BUT the lovely people at Jesmond Cakes were kind enough to give me an excellent list of vegan eateries in Edinburgh, and I think I'll mainly be eating from the Henderson's stall on St Andrew's Square.

What will you miss most while you're away from home?

A REALLY BIG TV WITH ALL THE CHANNELS. Please don't misunderstand me. I am not talking about Sky Sports or anything like that. Pick TV. Irish TV. Propeller. NHK. All the mad TV channels in the quiet backwaters of the channel guide that I find myself watching a LOT. There is, of course, BBC Alba though, up here - they show some brilliant documentaries. And nice, unpretentious cookery shows.

Aside from performing, what else are you looking forward to doing in Scotland's fine capital?

I'm actually really excited about having the chance to explore Edinburgh's environs. It's so different outside the city - the pace of life is a little easier, the skies and the water are beautiful. Sorry, that's a bit dry, isn't it? DRINKING WAHEYYYYYYYYY etc

If you took over programming a Fringe venue, what would your perfect line-up of comedians be?

Spencer Jones - I can't wait to see his show. Richard Gadd. John Gordillo. Rosie Wilby, who isn't here for the first time in years, DAMN HER, Dillie Keane and Fascinating Aida, Doug Stanhope, Jon Stewart, omg, I am getting INTO THIS NOW, Max Miller (am I allowed dead ones?)

Name the one person you'd rather not bump into during the festival.

When I was about 24 I went to New York for the first time, on a work trip, doing research for a TV show called TV Offal. The afternoon I arrived, I got acute food poisoning, and I am afraid to say I accidentally shat the bed in the Paramount Hotel. I was so mortified. The next morning the cleaner came in and I had bundled all the sheets up as hygienically as I could, thrust them into her basket, gave her twenty dollars and ran like the wind. As charming as she was, I... I don't think I would like to bump into that cleaner. It's been twenty years, nearly, and I have a feeling it might still be too soon.

Why should audiences pick your show over the 1,800+ other Fringe offerings listed on BCG this year?

Good question! That's sort of the thrust of the show, really. The show's theme is an exploration of how unique any of us really is. Apparently, according to marketing, we can all be reduced down to four different types of people. So, you know, according to that, whichever show you go and see, there'll probably be about 400 shows out there in a similar vein. I'd like to think that what sets me apart from the others is the pleading in my eyes. Hahaha. Thanks for having me!

'Jake Yapp is One in a Million' is at Udderbelly, George Square at 6:50pm on the 28th August. Listing