Eric Lampaert: 10 Edinburgh Fringe questions

Eric Lampaert answers 10 questions about his 2016 Edinburgh Fringe show...

Give us a quick overview of your comedy career so far. Are you happy with where you're at?

My main reason for starting stand-up in 2008 was to do films, and I just had a decent role in the upcoming Valerian, directed by Luc Besson. Luc fucking Besson. So yeah, I'm pretty happy.

I get to gig all over the world talking nonsense. What's not to like? I have a gig in the Arctic circle in September. This job is ridiculous. And terrible on my liver.

Tell us two truths and one lie about yourself (but mix them up, keep us guessing!).

1. I have a scar from a lion scratching me.

2. I swam with sharks without a cage and got bit by one.

3. I came 2nd in an ostrich race.

Describe your new show in exactly 23 words.

I am French, British and married an American. I am the Allies! Yet I belong nowhere. I am too strange. I am alien!

Any cunning plans to get more punters in?

I'm relying on word of mouth. My show is one hell of a show this year. I don't want to trick people to come to my show. Just come, it's free. If you hate it, you can leave without losing money. If you love it, you can technically leave without tipping at the end. So how about you take a risk you piece of shit!

What's your plan for trying to eat - and drink - healthily during the Fringe?

Day 1: Tell myself I won't drink too much.

Day 2: Woke up hungover, covered in kebab meat and last night's masturbation effluvia. Tell myself it's OK. I'm at the festival. I'm allowed to treat myself to have a bit of fun. But in doses. No drinking tonight.

Day 3: Repeat.

What will you miss most while you're away from home?

I live in LA (I know, what a bastard!), so the answer would have to be the sunshine and the legal weed. Well, it's almost legal,... whatever. And heroin. That's legal right? And murder.

Joking! Funny right? I'll mainly miss my gang members; Esteban, Trevor and Sally. (It's a new gang)

OK, the real answer, sunshine and weed.

Aside from performing, what else are you looking forward to doing in Scotland's fine capital?

It's like the first week of your second year at university. All your mates are there and we're all there to have a good time. For 11 months, we do stand-up around the world, working on our one hour, and this is the exam. I love it

If you took over programming a Fringe venue, what would your perfect line-up of comedians be?

So it's an hour show. We each get 6 minutes. The last act introduces the next.
Here's the line up - I use comics doing the UK circuit at moment.

1. Carl Donnelly
2. Joel Dommett
3. Katherine Ryan
4. Spencer Jones
5. Nish Kumar
6. Daniel Sloss
7. Aisling Bea
8. James Acaster
9. Sam Simmons
10. Eric Lampaert

Jesus, that was hard. There's loads of ace comics. (Yes, I am closing the show. It's my show!)

Name the one person you'd rather not bump into during the festival.

Medusa. Because I would turn to stone statue and that makes it difficult to get on with the rest of your life. You can't bend your knees. Someone will eventually steal one of your arms. My wife would be annoyed that she forever has to have relations with a flaccid penis statue. Unless.... Medusa looks at me when i have an erection... then maybe... I have my erections from the hours of 8:15 AM and 8:25 AM.

Why should audiences pick your show over the 1,800+ other Fringe offerings listed on BCG this year?

I know that in the UK it's normal to look down on people who are proud of something (in the US, they lose their minds over that. They love it. Bunch of weirdos) But this is a good show. It's a funny show. It's a strong show.

I might not be on your regularly scheduled programmes on TV. But I am funny. I didn't used to be. Awful. For years. But this show... I want you to see it. It's silly, weird and out of this world.

'Eric Lampaert: Alien of Extraordinary Ability' is at City Cafe at 5:30pm on 4-14 and 16-28 August. Listing