Sarah Callaghan talks Elephant, getting her first Fringe the wrong way around, and shouting at an O2 call-centre girl.

1. Tell us about your career so far. Are you happy with where you're at?

I started in 2010. I'm happy with where I'm at this Edinburgh, banging venue at a great time with some great people working on my show. But I'm not happy obviously, I'll never be happy. Now who's ready for some comedy?

2. Describe your show in exactly 23 words.

People spend their lives in small places unable or unwilling to break free, I've spent 23 years in my bedroom. Twenty-fucking-three!

3. Why are you putting yourself through this famously stressful experience?

My whole life is stressful so a day in Edinburgh is the same as any other day for me. I get stressed by the smallest of things so I may as well do the biggest of things to appear half normal. I got so stressed with my mobile phone provider the other day I told some poor girl in a call centre to go 'suck your mum'. That doesn't even make sense.

4. Any cunning plans to get more punters in?

My show's called Elephant so I plan to go to London Zoo, break into the elephant enclosure and get trampled to death. Or I could dress up as an elephant maybe and go and dance on the Royal Mile on all fours. Or maybe I'll just do a good show and try to get some word of mouth. And if that doesn't work the zoo idea again.

5. How much money do you think you'll lose/make this year?

I think I'll lose nothing. Fairly certain. I've worked it out very carefully that if you borrow the money you need for Edinburgh off family and friends then you cannot lose a single penny. My friends and family however should start applying for those credit cards now.

6. What's your weirdest past Fringe experience?

When I first did a short spot in a show in Edinburgh 2011, I misread the memo about getting pissed AFTER gigs. Can I just apologise to anyone that saw me that year, I would offer you some money back but it was a free show and I literally only did 4 mins some days so I'm sure it didn't ruin your life like I almost ruined my internal organs.

7. What other shows are you hoping to see?

Luke McQueen, Nathan Cassidy, Glenn Wool and something word of mouth that is utterly terrible - the complete Fringe experience.

8. If you took over programming a venue, what would you perfect line-up of comedians be?

Louis CK, Jack Dee, the cast of People Just Do Nothing, Lee Evans, Ricky Gervais, French and Saunders and Harry Enfield. You'd never get that bill together though, and even if you did CK would just be waving his willy everywhere.

9. Name the one person you'd rather not bump into during the festival.

The girl in that call centre at O2. She's either gonna be angry at 'suck your mum' or totally confused. Either way I don't need it love, suck your mum!

10. Why should audiences pick your show over the 1,700+ other comedy offerings at this year's festival?

There are too many shows but mine is obviously the best!! Next year there needs to be a lottery like they do for Wimbledon tickets. All the lucky performers get to play in the proper venues, and anyone else has to sit on Murray Mount (Arthur's seat) watching the action on a big screen in the pissing rain.

'Sarah Callaghan: Elephant' is at 5:50pm at Pleasance Courtyard on 5-16, 18-30 August. Listing