Markus Birdman is looking forward to some great pizza at this year's Fringe. But also, not.

1. Tell us about your career so far. Are you happy with where you're at?

I started in 2000. It's now 2015. Not much has gone on. I once got into a fistfight in Wales, which I lost. Who knew those nuns were so handy?

2. Describe your show in exactly 23 words.

I have rewritten and illustrated Cinderella and Red Riding Hood, making them more contemporary and funny. And at the end both of them....

3. Why are you putting yourself through this famously stressful experience?

If only it was famously. I have languished in the nether regions of the comedy world for far too long. A bit of famous stress wouldn't go a miss. Plus there's a pizza they do on Leith Walk that is sublime.

4. Any cunning plans to get more punters in?

I shall be beheading a penguin outside the venue at noon each day. That particular milkshake usually brings all punters to my yard.

5. How much money do you think you'll lose/make this year?

I never talk money. Well only to pimps, drug dealers and people who sell office stationery.

6. What's your weirdest past Fringe experience?

A woman once laughed so hard in one of my shows she changed religion.
She's now Chief Rabbi of Dundee, so all's well that ends well.

7. What other shows are you hoping to see?

Briefs, Velvet, and as much circus as I can. I love watching people do things with their bodies I can't possibly do. Plus I do like a lady with muscles, who looks like she could hurl me about a bit.

8. If you took over programming a venue, what would you perfect line-up of comedians be?

Tommy Tiernan, Richard Pryor, Daniel Kitson, Victoria Wood, Sam Simmons, The Goons, Bill Hicks, Mitch Helberg, Arj Barker, The Boosh, Dan Antopolski, Simon Munnery, Robin Williams.

9. Name the one person you'd rather not bump into during the festival.

The bloke who runs the pizza joint on Leith Walk. I owe him 40 quid.

10. Why should audiences pick your show over the 1,700+ other comedy offerings at this year's festival?

It's got lots of lovely pictures in it that I've drawn and lots of lovely funny bits. Plus I shall be passing round oranges at half time.

'Markus Birdman - Grimm Realities' is at 3:40pm at The Canons' Gait on 8-16, 18-30 August. Listing