Written by: Chris Dugdale
Published: Thursday 27th August 2015

To say that nothing has ever gone wrong when you are performing as a magician indicates 1 of 2 things... either you never perform or you are a liar!

Here are my top five screw ups! Hope you enjoy them. Looking back, I do now... but I did not at the time!

1. At university I thought it would be a great idea to perform the zig zag girl and cut a girl in 3 pieces. That was until I could not get her back in one piece again. That bloody cabinet would not shift back into position for love or money! There she was, stranded in 3 pieces and I'm sweating like a baboon trying to get her back into one piece. No good. No luck. She was wheeled off and restored off stage with the aid of those most magical of items - namely a hammer and brute force!

2. I started off doing kid's shows. I quickly realised it was a lucrative way to earn some money at the weekend and the business quickly flourished. However at one of these events, little Dustin got more than he bargained for when he put his hand in the guillotine! Not only did it cut him but he actually bled! A tissue, a huge amount of sweets and a plea prevented further crying... and a lawsuit.

3. When asking a lady to sign her card, she actually wrote the 'C Word' on the face of the two of hearts instead. Determined to be unperturbed I carried on as normal until she suddenly stood up and shouted at the top of her lungs - "This man just called me a C***" She slapped me round the face and I had to leave... turns out she was released from a mental hospital 3 days prior.

4. Whilst at university I thought it would be fantastic fun to attempt the knife through arm illusion. Great trick, effective, gory, they'll love it I thought! They did, apart from one girl who got up from her seat, promptly fainted, causing the show to be stopped until the ambulance came... and I still had a bloody knife in my arm...

5. In the Naked Magicians show in Las Vegas, at some point our clothes disappear visually. That is if you have the right kit on! Half way through the show I realised I had got my colleagues clothes on and he (at the time on stage) had mine. There was no way I could get his bloody trousers on... meanwhile his trousers were slipping down his waist repeatedly. We both knew we had a problem, but there was simply nothing we could do. I just had to go on in my underpants for the finale...

'Chris Dugdale: Sleightly Dishonest' is at 6:50pm at Assembly George Square Studios until the 31st August. Listing