Written by: Ria Lina
Published: Thursday 14th August 2014

My Fringe nightmares keep seemingly mimic my art... there's a metaphor in that, but isn't it supposed to be the other way around?!

Last year I wrote a show about Aspergers and coincidentally ended up coming to the festival by myself - the lone Aspie twitching her way through to the last week.

This year it seems to have happened again. I'm doing a show about homeschooling and have ended up accompanied by three kids and a husband (all mine) with a very strong 'family bonding' plan in mind (not mine).

Having the family in tow will no doubt complement and complicate the success of my new show which is inspired by the fact that I homeschool my children. Well, not all of them, just the two I can stand.

One of the joys of homeschooling is that we're not tied to a school calendar or schedule, meaning that we can learn what we like, where we like, when we like. Originally I had hoped that, like last year, the kids would stay with my husband in London for the majority of the month. But he had other ideas. A month is too long not to see Mummy (like I hadn't seen them enough over the last year).

So this visit to the Fringe is now known as the "really long end-of-year field trip" where we're learning about marketing (flyering for Mummy's show), psychology (who best to target when flyering for Mummy's show), and good PR tactics (grown-ups like beer). Perfect extracurricular activities for building skills that complement the marginally-more-practical lessons we've been learning at home which - along with the classics like English and Maths - include Home Economics (laundry) and some interesting studies in science where we've been attempting to discover the answer questions such as: "which needs more sleep: the developed or developing mind?" (Our data indicates the developed. I lie-in a LOT more than they do).

But it's not all fun and games this month. I genuinely have to make sure they don't fall behind... me that is, as I'm racing from one guest spot to the next. Can't have them feeling neglected. The festival is tough as it is, let alone with neglected children in tow.

An even harder balance is the one between our needs and preferences, namely their preference to have fun (it would be a shame for them not to see any of the kids shows while they're here), and my need to stay out till 5am (why are kids shows always in the morning?).

The hardest part for me is that I'm essentially bringing my kids into the office with me. Sure, it's a great place to work; in fact the Fringe would probably win the award for 'most kid-friendly work environment' if so many of us hadn't paid through the nose to be here.

However I'm still 'at work'. And working-Ria is supposed to be well-turned-out, pleasant, friendly, engaging, and more than a little bawdy with a ukulele. NOT frazzled, harried, pulling an arm behind her that she hopes is still attached to a child, yelling 'Cross at the green man!' and 'Mind the drunk!' and 'Stop handing flyers to children! It isn't a kids' show, it starts at 3pm!'

So why, am I homeschooling if it makes life so much harder for you at the Fringe? Because even if they went to school, it's still the summer holidays in August. Either way I'm stuck with them.

'Ria Lina: School of Riason' is at the Gilded Balloon at 3pm until the 25th August. Listing

Ria is also performing 'Offensive Charm', a show featuring last year's hits and work-in-progress material, at Espionage until the 24th August. Listing