Written by: Michael Downey
Published: Wednesday 30th July 2014

My head is up my arse, I don't know my name or where I live. No I'm not drunk, I'm awaiting the start of the Edinburgh Festival.

I'm still at home and there's not much more I can do in preparation. The distraction of setting up my video cassette player and watching every episode of Inspector Morse has erased the idea I was cultivating that this year's show, Blue Sometimes, was the biggest load of shite I'd ever written.

Now I need to concentrate on the logistics of relocating to Edinburgh. This is my second time doing the entire run of the Festival - the first being 2012 - and thanks to Apple and the iPod, my most essential possession is now mobile and I have access to every song that I own while in Scotland for the month.

One of the major flaws of our species is that as one crisis is diverted the next crisis will gain in significance and so when preparing for Edinburgh you are constantly panicking: do I pack for cold weather?; do I have enough pairs of underwear?; why are they referred to as pairs of underwear when they come in ones?; Will I remember the show?; Is it funny enough?; Is it funny?!

You have to surrender to the philosophy that whatever will be will be and that you'll sort out the things you can sort out and the things you can't sort out won't get sorted by worrying about them.

Even though I'm taking a break now with a strong cup of tea and a Kit-Kat Chunky, the panic has only been suspended and any moment now the shoes/boots/runners/socks debate will start.

Michael Downey's show is Udderbelly (Bristo Square) at 9:30pm until the 24th August (not 11th). Listing