Written by: Hatty Ashdown
Published: Monday 4th August 2014

We all know no-one wants to take a flyer.

Nowhere do you see proof of this more than the Edinburgh festival. Us performers have worked hard on our show for a whole year (sometimes two, sometimes three, sometimes we've put it together in a mad panic at the end of July); we've come up with an idea, written it, re-written it, and performed work-in-progress previews no-one comes to because football is on. Then, as it gets to August, we realise we have no idea if the show actually works or if those two mumsy middle aged women who just happen to be in the pub that last preview were just drunk.

But it's ok, we've got a media strategy in place for Edinburgh. We've got a mate with Photoshop and have lovingly put together a flyer containing all the info anyone could ever need. It's got our show title, a blurb, quotes, directions, and to top it off there's even a hilarious photo on the front of us pulling a silly face. How could anyone resist? Now we just need you to take one.

I've worked over the years in promotions, experimental marketing, as a 'brand ambassador' (whatever the name, it basically amounts to the same thing: someone who gives stuff out to people), and one thing I've learnt is that you punters will do anything to avoid accepting that little piece of card.

Some of you flat out ignore us, some pretend you've just got an important phone call, some put your head down hoping that if you can't see us then we can't see you. Just so you know, guys, if you slide yourself along the edge of the wall to avoid us and we are the only two people in the alley then you are still visible.

A friend told me of one maverick who shoved their hand up into their sleeve, they'd rather pretend they didn't have a hand than face taking a flyer. Personally I would have still flyered them; I'd helpfully put it straight in their pocket and say "Here, let me give you a hand".

However, having worked in promo I know that it's a whole different ball-game when it comes to freebies. I've had jobs giving out some of the strangest things: light bulbs, pieces of cheese, tiny washing up liquid bottles - and people can't get enough. You'd be amazed how the public will scramble over themselves for a sample of butter at 7am on a hot Monday morning. I've had some real imaginative public that think I don't notice them coming back with a different coat or hat on just to get a second sample.

But what is so bad about taking a flyer? "I don't want to be weighed down with loads of them" you say. Well boo-hoo, what heck are you doing at the biggest arts festival in the UK then? This is what it's all about; discovering new things, opening your mind to new performers, new genres, new artforms and most importantly taking flyers. I don't care if you make them into paper-aeroplanes but whatever you do just be nice, smile and take one if you can. Because if you don't I can tell you every time you walk past or ignore us one more little bit of our will to live rolls down the Royal Mile.

Now, I'm a bloody good flyerer - of course I am, did you read that brilliant hand based banter? - and I know all the tricks of the trade (oh, you want to find out what they are? You'll just have to come to see my show, guys) but I might be getting some help this year.

Let me explain. When I flyer I really put myself into it. I end up trying to perform half a show for everyone that I meet so that by the time my show actually starts I'm exhausted.

This year I'm training up a mini Hatt-ette, I will be teaching another my great skills, passing on the baton to a new generation, help them deal with the rejection (of course there won't be any for my flyerers - am I right, guys?) and teach them to keep going. As one promo friend used to say "you have to disengage the brain, Hatty, go into autopilot - if you take every rejection of your flyer personally you may well lose the will to live". Then with the extra free time I can focus on something else important to help my show - like sleeping in.

So, if you're up in Edinburgh for the festival this year I hope to see you there. Although you won't find me any where near the Royal Mile... it's full of bloody flyerers!

Hatty is performing 'Hurry Up Hatty' at 3:45pm at The Wee Pub on Grassmarket until the 24th August. Listing

Hatty is the co-writer of Give Out Girls, a sitcom coming to Comedy Central this autumn.