POLICE OFFICER IS DRAGGING IN A MUZZLED AND BOUND CRIMINAL HE IS TALKING TO HIS CHIEF INSPECTOR.
POLICE
We got him chief this is Eric Dobbler, the human Gobbler. The most 'orrible cannibal serial killer in London.
CHIEF
PC Ivor Truncheon what have I told you about over exagerating crimes!
POLICE
Exagerating sir? He killed and ate 12 school kids, 6 nuns and an MP. He's not only a monster, he's a greedy bastard.
CHIEF.
PC Truncheon did he eat them completely?
POLICE
Well no sir. Just the bums and toilet parts.
CHIEF
More of a nibbler wouldn't you say?
POLICE
But he killed them sir.
CHIEF.
Are you sure PC Truncheon? Maybe he came upon some corpses and had a bit of a nibble?
POLICE
But sir he was caught on CCTV, he admitted it on Jeremy Kyle and even sold the knife on ebay.
CHIEF
Look PC Truncheon, the government is reducing rates of reported serious crime. So are you sure this fellow isn't just an opportunist snacker?
POLICE
Sorry sir, he was trying to dispose of the remains in a council tip.
CHIEF
Fly tipping you evil bastard! You'll never see the light of day again.