Clocking off Grace Brothers insp Lee

MACK FROM CLOCKING OFF IS ADRESSING A MEETING OF THE STAFF.

MACK

Right if we don't run off 5,000,000 crotchless panties this week, the fookin North Koreans will get the contract.

FRANNY

Aye, but it's this staff new they're disgusting. That old bag keeps telling me her pussy is wet. I mean that's sexist.

JIM

And I've got nothing against gays. But that bastard found out I was a boxer, and he won't stop asking me to punch him in the ring.

MACK

Right that's it you lot are fired, you're nothing but trouble.

WE TURN TO SEE THE REST OF THE STAFF ARE THE CAST OF "ARE YOU BEING SERVED"

CAPTAIN PEACOCK

This is most irregular, we were promised 6 months employment by Job Centre Plus when Grace Brothers burnt down.

MACK

I don't fookin care, why don't you try Cardiff? Torchwood always needs talentless, perverts to do fook all.

MRS SLOCOMBE

Ooh my pussy will starve. What meat will I be able to get in it?

MR HUMPHRIES

My cock, ooh I'm free!

MACK

You don't really get gayness do you?

Sooty, this is the best thing you've written. I'm laughing all over the keys. Fortunately, I can picture Glenister is all his shiny potato-faced glory but most people on this forum were probably combing out their My-Little Ponies when Clocking off was on.

Thank you sir, Clocking Off was about one of the best pieces of drama I ever saw in any format.

More of an affectionate tribute than a piss take.