Sins of the Father: Chris McGuire
A MAN IS SEATED IN A TRADITIONAL CONFESSIONAL.
HE TALKS TO AN OLD PRIEST THROUGH THE MESH. THE PRIEST IS SOFTLY SPOKEN AND NERVOUS LOOKING. THE PRIEST HAS GIANT EYEBROWS THAT ARE BACKCOMBED OVER HIS BALD HEAD.
PRIEST: (SOFTLY)
Bless you my son.
MAN:
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.
PRIEST:
Tell me of your sinfulness.
MAN: (NERVOUS)
Well as you know Father, I am a married man.
PRIEST:
I do my son- with a lovely wife and a bonny family- I believe I married you myself…
MAN:
Well- there's another… ‘Lady'…I am seeing another woman.
PRIEST: (CONFUSED)
Seeing my son? On the bus? In the Library? How are you seeing her?
MAN: (EMBARRASSED)
It is more intimate than that…
PRIEST:
Oh… I see. Who is this lady?
MAN:
Her name is not important father…
PRIEST: (UNDER HIS BREATH)
Unless you are trying to look her up on Google that is…
MAN:
Pardon?
PRIEST:
Nothing my son... describe her to me…
MAN:
She's in her 30s…
PRIEST:
Is she blonde or Brunette?
MAN: (AWKWARD)
I hardly think…
PRIEST:
I need to know the details- to understand the scale of the sin… does she dress well?
MAN:
Well…
PRIEST:
Does she wear lacy things? Does she wear stockings- silk stockings?
MAN: (CONFUSED)
Yes father- I suppose she does…
SILENCE.
PRIEST: (GETTING A LITTLE EXCITED)
On your phone, do you have any pictures of her on your phone?
MAN:
Pictures?
PRIEST: (RUSHING)
Yes son pictures, give me a moment- I've got Blue tooth…
HE BEGINS TO RUMMAGE FOR HIS PHONE.
MAN:
No father- I don't have any pictures…
PRIEST:
You sure? Shame.
LONG PAUSE:
PRIEST:
Does she have Big Titties?
AWKWARD SILENCE.
MAN:
3 ‘Hail Mary's' then?
PRIEST:
That should cover it!
THE MAN LEAVES THE CUBICLE, AWKWARDLY WANDERING OFF.
THE PRIEST LEAVES- HIS DOG COLLAR IS ATTACHED TO A LONG LEAD. THE DOOR OF THE CONFESSIONAL BANGS AGAINST THE WALL REVEALING A CENTRE FOLD IS PINNED THERE.