Ging gang goolley

A SCOUT LEADER IS ADRESSING SOME SCOUTS.

SCOUT LEADER

Right chaps I've been asked to talk to you chaps about something a bit embarassing.

SCOUT1

I thought we were going to sing ging gang goolleys.

SCOUT LEADER

It's about your ging gang goolleys.

SCOUT2

Our what?

SCOUT LEADER

Look have any of you chaps been finding yourselves putting up tents in your pants, maybe when you think about girls?

SCOUT1

No, are we supposed to make tents out of our pants?

SCOUT LEADER

No damn it, I've got to talk about sex!

SCOUT1

What's sex?

SCOUT2

Do we get a badge for it?

SCOUT LEADER

No you do not get a f**king, f**king badge, for f**king.

SCOUT1

Oh f**king.

SCOUT2

Why didn't you say sir!

SCOUT LEADER

Thank Baden Powell, now the government has produced a list of acceptable things for scouts to have sex with.

1 Girl Guides.

SCOUT1+2

Hooray.

SCOUT LEADER

Other scouts.

SCOUT1

Hooray.

SCOUT2 MOVES AWAY FROM HIM.

SCOUT LEADER

And you're not supposed to have sex with (READING) me.

SCOUT1+2

Hooray.

SCOUT LEADER

You bitches.

Good stuff. Was looking for the "get your Woggle out" gag though.
Or jokes about getting wood (e.g. "what, you mean for a fire, sir?")
Hmm, a sketch called "Scouting for Girls"?

Anyway, as for this sketch would be tempted to change "putting up tents in pants" to "erecting tents..."

All good suggestions, may take some of these onboard.

I'd have the Scout Leader as a benevolent old man passing the news on with some embarrasment. I think you'll get more gags that way than repeating the word "f**k" a few too many times in a sentence. And rather than that last line I'd just have him sighing with disappointment instead.

Hmm interesting thoughts, though for me the f**king line is the one the whole sketch revolves on.

I rather like the idea of it being both an active verb twice and then an adverb, and then a verb again in the next sentence.

Meta-linguistics with rude words is one of my favorite tricks.

But people will probably think it's just the word f**king alot.

The scout leader could work better as an old bloke, but with this one I just wanted to slap the ideas on paper, so kinda left him neutral.

I suppose I was half thinking of having him as Boris Johnson.

I did like it. The Bussell makes good points though and I think it would be better for it.

Dan

This is really very good, but agree with David's comments - the f**king line didn't work for me at all.

Acch it may have to go, I am quite besotted with that line.

Oh well can't be helped.