INT. NIGHT. STABLE.
NATIVITY SCENE WITH MARY, JOSEPH AND THE BABY JESUS.
SFX CAR SCREECHING TO A HALT. THREE WELL DRESSED MEN ENTER THE STABLE.
TONY:
Jesus, I'm Tony. This is Federico and this is Vincent, we're the three wise guys. Show ‘em what ya got Vince.
VINCENT:
Mary and Joseph, congratulations. I appreciate Jesus is only a baby but ya know, the streets are a dangerous place for us all. I got him an all-in-one Kevlar sleepsuit, nothing but the mutha f**kin' best for the son of God.
FEDERICO:
Jesus H Christ, heh, heh, I'm just breaking his balls a little, Mary and Joe.
TONY:
Cut the crap Federico.
VINCENT:
Yeah, give the kid his gift.
FEDERICO:
Ok, ok. Jeez. (PAUSE) I got him the full Yankees outfit and hat and a baby baseball bat signed by Joe DiMaggio.
VINCENT:
DiMaggio's signature? Holy shit.
TONY:
Mary and Joseph. I ‘ve knitted Jesus a beautiful woollen jumper, its three to six months so he can grow into it.
JOSEPH:
Erm, thanks but he wont be wearing wool then, it'll be spring time, it starts getting very warm here.
TONY:
(draws gun) You ungrateful f**k, just cause you're the father of the son of God doesn't mean you wont get whacked.
VINCENT:
Tony, tony, come on, put the gun away. What would Jesus do?
MARY:
Well, he's got my tit in his mouth at the minute.
