GUY RITCHIE, PETER ANDRE AND KATY HOLMES ARE ON THE STAGE HOLDING LADDERS AND BUCKETS ETC. A WOMAN COMES ON.
WOMAN
Are you Celebrity X FB window cleaners?
GUY
Yes we are me old China, Celebrity Ex F**k buddies. I'm Guy Ritchie Mockney Geezer, and film maker.
PETER
I'm Peter Andre, I used to f**k Jordan when it was the ponies night off.
KATE SQUEEKS.
GUY
Gor blimey Kate, whats that?
KATE SQUEEKS.
GUY
You're Tom Cruise's exbaby incubator.
PETER
When our much more succesful partners dumped us, we got together to use our talents to make some money.
WOMAN
What talents?
PETER
I had a 6 pack and sung Mysterious Girl.
KATE SQUEEKS.
GUY
Gor blimey Kate, no one cares you were in ruddy Dawson's Creek.
KATE SQUEEKS.
GUY
Ow ruddy dare ya, ya cheeky moo! I've had more than 2 decent films. There was Lockstock, Snatch and, and. Bitch.
WOMAN
So you took all your years of work as singer, film maker and actress. And ended up cleaning windows?
PETER
Well we did get offered a chance to judge Strictly Come Dancing.
KATE SQUEEKS
GUY
You're right Kate, even we've got standards.