British Comedy Guide

What's the rudest you've been? Page 2

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ October 19 2008, 12:11 AM BST

Five people, a turd, a couple of beermats and a table. Its hardly Terminator 3 we're talking.

Laughing out loud

Mmm.. one of the the (c)rudest things I ever did.. er, I mean saw was a very large and nasty uninvited man drunk and flaked out, flat on his back in the middle of my bedroom floor in Willesden Green (circa. Dec 1980) with a massive human turd on his chest just in front of his chin.

I made sure I was not there when he woke up.

I never saw the geezer again, I am glad to say and the turd mysteriously vanished for a while but did in fact make itself known a day or two later..

..but that's another story.

Talk about don't shit on your own doorstep.. :(

Quote: Frankie Rage @ October 19 2008, 9:52 AM BST

Mmm.. one of the the (c)rudest things I ever did.. er, I mean saw was a very large and nasty uninvited man drunk and flaked out, flat on his back in the middle of my bedroom floor in Willesden Green (circa. Dec 1980) with a massive human turd on his chest just in front of his chin.

I made sure I was not there when he woke up.

I never saw the geezer again, I am glad to say and the turd mysteriously vanished for a while but did in fact make itself known a day or two later..

..but that's another story.

Talk about don't shit on your own doorstep..

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud

You guessed it Gav, I got my own back in more ways than one..

Quote: Frankie Rage @ October 19 2008, 10:13 AM BST

You guessed it Gav, I got my own back in more ways than one..

Slighly unsavoury still funny though :D

I sabotaged a potentially lucrative career in directing adverts by telling some agency creatives they were vacuous sell-out c**ts who should be f**king ashamed of themselves, before storming out of the restaurant in a drunken fury.

Worst bit: I left my bag behind, and had to go back.

And the creatives were actually quite nice people; I was just a little bit too into Bill Hicks at the time.

Quote: Mike Greybloke @ October 19 2008, 10:39 AM BST

I sabotaged a potentially lucrative career in directing adverts by telling some agency creatives they were vacuous sell-out c**ts who should be f**king ashamed of themselves, before storming out of the restaurant in a drunken fury.

Worst bit: I left my bag behind, and had to go back.

And the creatives were actually quite nice people; I was just a little bit too into Bill Hicks at the time.

Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Laughing out loud Brilliant!

Hmmm...I'm generally quite nice to people and hate being rude, and I detest rude people. But very occasionally (and I'm talking about once every ten years or something) someone pushes all my nuclear attack buttons in the correct sequence and Scorched Earth begins.

Of the very few times it's happened I suppose the most memorable was when I was working in a clothes shop. The manager was the most slimy, smugly superior twat I've ever met. He had a constant look of disdain on his face and used to flare his nostrils in disgust at his subordinates. He looked a LOT like this:

Image
only smugger.

ANYWAY, I'd been working there about 4 months and tolerated him for the money, (several other people had left the company because of him) until one afternoon he called me into his office and said there's been a serious complaint about me. Turns out the "serious" complaint was the cleaner, who had reminded him that the kitchen area should be left clear of rubbish at night. Yes I'd absent-mindedly left a Monster Munch packet on the sideboard. Anyway I apologized and said it would'nt happen again, at which point he stood up and put his face about an inch from mine and said "No you f**king won't do it again, because if you do you won't have a job you idiot". So I literally saw red, grabbed him by the throat and started walking forwards, pushing him backwards onto his desk. As he went he knocked his laptop off with his hand and shouted "My laptop!", and in for a penny, I said "That's yours is it?" and stamped on the screen. Then I called him a slimy wanker and went home and waited for the police to arrive. They never did. Obviously I was sacked for gross misconduct but I heard a couple of months later that he'd been sacked too for touching up a Saturday girl.

good on you mate!!

Quote: Nigel Kelly @ October 19 2008, 12:11 AM BST

Five people, a turd, a couple of beermats and a table. Its hardly Terminator 3 we're talking.

You forgot the key ingredient for this set up: A very low IQ.

And Lee, you're literally a legend, I had a boss that wasn't far off that but she was a woman, soo, couldn't do anything about it... :(

Respect to Mr. Henman. Nothing more satisfying than a bully getting his comeuppance.

Well it's not behaviour I'm desperately proud of but I must say it did feel good.

I hate being rude. The two times I am likely to ever be rude is if someone is really offensive to someone else in my earshot (for example, snotty customers to shop staff) or if someone keeps asking me "are you okay?" every five seconds and won't leave me alone despite the fact I was fine to start with. It really upsets me if it's someone who knows me well enough to know not to do that cause it makes me feel abnormal.

Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at large. @ October 19 2008, 1:30 PM BST

I hate being rude. The two times I am likely to ever be rude is if someone is really offensive to someone else in my earshot (for example, snotty customers to shop staff) or if someone keeps asking me "are you okay?" every five seconds and won't leave me alone despite the fact I was fine to start with. It really upsets me if it's someone who knows me well enough to know not to do that cause it makes me feel abnormal.

How about snotty shop staff to customers? :)

Quote: Frankie Rage @ October 19 2008, 1:31 PM BST

How about snotty shop staff to customers? :)

That annoys me too but I tend to find it's the other way around. Speaking as someone who has worked in shops, it's usually a case of the shop staff have been told to always say certain things and get into a heap of trouble when they don't.

Snotty shop staff tend to be reserved to Topshop anyway.

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