Presenter
Hello there and welcome back to Points of View. Well, Sunday evening is usually a time for relaxation and harmless entertainment. Unfortunately, that's not what Mrs Wombledon from Wimbledon got.
Mrs Wombledon (V.O)
Good evening, I would like to express my undiminished anger at Sunday's Antiques Roadshow. I, like everyone else, like nothing more than sitting down with a nice cup of Earl Grey and a plate of Rich Tea in front of my favourite program. Indeed, I find it very informative to know what my family heirlooms may bring at auction. But imagine my disgust at the profanity which came out of Michael Aspel's mouth. Never have I heard such obscenities on any program made by the British Broadcasting Corporation. This blue language was particularly evident when Mr Aspel was discussing a Ming vase – bollocks, turd, foreskin, big balls, big hairy balls, arse, f**k and knob jockey. These were just some of the words which made me choke on my Rich Tea.
Presenter
Well, thank you for getting in touch Mrs Wombledon – and you do make a very serious point. Indeed, following discussions with the producers of the Antiques Roadshow we have reached the following conclusions. Firstly, we have dropped Michael Aspel's balls. In exchange for this, Michael will be able to squeeze in a cock or introduce a todger between a couple of tits. Furthermore, Michael Aspel's foreskin has been cut and, in any repeat of the program, his arse will be wiped and his turd dispensed with. I hope this satisfies your need Mrs Wombledon.
Mrs Wombledon (V.O)
Thanks.
