Edit 2
MADONNA IS TALKING TO A SHOPKEEPER GUY RITCHIE STANDS NEXT TO HER
SHOP
Aaah Madonna welcome to Orphans R Us, what can we do for you? Why not try our BOGOF Georgain orphan?
MADONNA
No I'd like my money back on this Mockney one you sold me 8 years ago.
GUY
Watcha talking about you slag, apples and pears, knees up mother brown.
MADONNA SLAPS HIM
MADONNA
Quiet, bad mockney.
SHOP
We didn't sell you a mockney.
MADONNA
Yes you did, you cheeky rob dog. It's shit, I can't a word it says and it keeps trying to have sex with me.
GUY RUBS UP AGAINST MADONNA
GUY
Gwoor hows about some hows your father? You slag gawd blimey guvnor.
MADONNA THROWS WATER IN HIS FACE ALLA DOG BORSTAL
MADONNA
Bad Mockney, no Stella tonight!
SHOP
Very creative they are, have you given it a camera?
MADONNA
Yes and it produced more shit, than any of my other oprhans. Have you seen Revolver? Look I've got a receipt and everything.
SHOWS SHOP A PIECE OF PAPER.
SHOP
I'm sorry that's a marriage certificate.
MADONNA
You mean I married the stubbly, wanna be, loser oohhh gross. If I divorce him can I swop him for another oprhan?
SHOP
Sure we just got a new one in, it's a Peter Andre. It kept trying to hump balloons but we've had it spayed.