EXT - An obvious tourist stands in front of the houses of Parliament, apparently having his picture taken.
TOURIST: Grrrrr! Woof! F**kf**kf**kf**kf**kf**k!
CUT TO: Tourist standing in front of the Tower of London
TOURIST: C**ty c**t! I wank in your mother's milk!
CUT TO: Tourist dressed normally, chatting to a friend in the pub.
TOURIST: ...yeah so I just ended up buying a cheap one off eBay. Another pint? It's my round.
CUT TO: Tourist standing in front of Buckingham Palace
TOURIST: Woof! GRRRRRR f**k you, f**k you, f**k you. C**tc**tc**tc**tc**t! Woof!
CUT TO: INT - psychiatrist's office. The tourist is lying on a couch next to the shrink.
SHRINK: I'm afraid you're suffering from Tourist's Syndrome.