Quote: EllieJP @ June 10 2009, 2:51 PM BSTYes exactly... I think it's maybe just all in my head.
I think you are right Ellie, my g/f is often over analysing things in her head and it does her or the relationship any good. As long as you're happy then who cares about the differences?
And of course if there's <3, that's all you need.
Anyone else feel like singing with me?
I over analyse things too.
It quite possibly is all in your head.
It's not as if you'd dump him for a loud bloke just because he was loud is it? 
Quote: Darren Pomroy @ June 10 2009, 2:34 PM BSTWhy is not shining as brightly as it was last week?
Because the flow of the gulf stream has changed, and cloud cover has been brought over the UK. It will be moving further northwards towards the weekend bringing back the heat, but clouds will stay for slightly longer, meaning rain.
Quote: EllieJP @ June 10 2009, 2:44 PM BSTI find his quietness quite rude and feel others feel the same, so get frustrated. I feel he finds how loud I am obnoxious.
The former is quite unlikely. The latter is quite possible.
Quote: Darren Pomroy @ June 10 2009, 2:59 PM BSTAnyone else feel like singing with me?
No.
Leevil can't believe his laptop has been out of use for a few months because he was plugging the ethernet cable into the wrong hole.
Quote: Aaron @ June 10 2009, 3:20 PM BSTThe former is quite unlikely. The latter is quite possible.
Actually a number of people on first meeting him have commented on it.
Quote: zooo @ June 10 2009, 3:17 PM BSTIt's not as if you'd dump him for a loud bloke just because he was loud is it?
No, but I just want him to join in with my fun.
Quote: Leevil @ June 10 2009, 3:42 PM BSTLeevil can't believe his laptop has been out of use for a few months because he was plugging the ethernet cable into the wrong hole.
>_< 
Quote: EllieJP @ June 10 2009, 3:44 PM BSTActually a number of people on first meeting him have commented on it.
Commented that he's quiet, or commented that he's rude?
Quote: EllieJP @ June 10 2009, 3:44 PM BSTNo, but I just want him to join in with my fun.
Tut. Forcing him to be something he's not. Naughty Ellie.
Quote: Leevil @ June 10 2009, 3:42 PM BSTLeevil can't believe his laptop has been out of use for a few months because he was plugging the ethernet cable into the wrong hole.
Is this some kind of convulated euphemism for not being sure why your girlfriend wasn't yet pregnant?
Quote: EllieJP @ June 10 2009, 2:44 PM BSTIt only really becomes apparent in social situations, as I am relatively quiet when it's just us two. I find his quietness quite rude and feel others feel the same, so get frustrated. I feel he finds how loud I am obnoxious.
Everyone is different with their mates than they are with their partners when they are alone. It's just a fact of life and I'm pretty sure he knows that. Think of it this way. If you were a quiet guy surrounded by loud women, would you not be scared witless? The only time you ever have to worry is if they actually say something really harsh while you are out with ether your friends or his. The fact he clams up is almost good, it just means he is shy and fears for his life!
My best friend is getting married to a guy who is also her opposite. She is loud, brash, says what she thinks, hardcore drinker and nutter and he is quiet, awkward, despairs when she pole dances in the club etc... and whenever we have all gone out together he will sit in the corner with pint and will shut down a little. He rarely talks to anyone apart from Dan my flatmate who is versed in man grunts and sometimes me but he is so quiet he is like a mouse. But it doesn't mean he doesn't approve. He is just scared of the nut society we seem to form when we are all together.
I bet when you are with his mates you are the same. 
Quote: Aaron @ June 10 2009, 3:45 PM BSTCommented that he's quiet, or commented that he's rude?
Tut. Forcing him to be something he's not. Naughty Ellie.
Both valid points.
1) Yes it might be in my head but someone said to me "is he just quiet?" I answered yes, and they said they'd thought he was being rude.
2) This is an issue... I'm not forcing him to be anything he doesn't want to be, but it's not something that's going to change which is the issue.
From his side, it is pure torture to be out with people who, for example, try to force you to dance on a night out, when you don't 'do' dancing. (That's happened to me several times and yes, I am still bitter!)
But I don't think that is the sort of thing you're on about, Ellie.
Sometimes quiet people are being rude, but sometimes they're just being quiet.
I'm sure there are lots of fun things you both enjoy doing, maybe do more of them and less of the stuff that makes you (you or him) feel uncomfortable.
Quote: zooo @ June 10 2009, 3:51 PM BSTFrom his side, it is pure torture to be out with people who, for example, try to force you to dance on a night out, when you don't 'do' dancing. (That's happened to me several times and yes, I am still bitter!)
But I don't think that is the sort of thing you're on about, Ellie.
Sometimes quiet people are being rude, but sometimes they're just being quiet.
I'm sure there are lots of fun things you both enjoy doing, maybe do more of them and less of the stuff that makes you (you or him) feel uncomfortable.
Not for the first time, but what zooo said.
Here is a trick. Have a gathering and invite just a couple of you friends and a couple of his. Start small. Then every so often build it up a little. He will feel less pressure and also gives you a chance to get to know his mates.
Quote: Aaron @ June 10 2009, 3:20 PM BSTNo.
Come on Aaron not even a little song? Ill let you choose the song. 
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ June 10 2009, 3:49 PM BSTEveryone is different with their mates than they are with their partners when they are alone. It's just a fact of life and I'm pretty sure he knows that. Think of it this way. If you were a quiet guy surrounded by loud women, would you not be scared witless? The only time you ever have to worry is if they actually say something really harsh while you are out with ether your friends or his. The fact he clams up is almost good, it just means he is shy and fears for his life!
My best friend is getting married to a guy who is also her opposite. She is loud, brash, says what she thinks, hardcore drinker and nutter and he is quiet, awkward, despairs when she pole dances in the club etc... and whenever we have all gone out together he will sit in the corner with pint and will shut down a little. He rarely talks to anyone apart from Dan my flatmate who is versed in man grunts and sometimes me but he is so quiet he is like a mouse. But it doesn't mean he doesn't approve. He is just scared of the nut society we seem to form when we are all together.
I bet when you are with his mates you are the same.
I mainly have guy mates, he's quiet around them. He says he just likes letting me carry on, I want him to join in. I am most certainly not quiet around his mates... not really that loud but I make sure I'm sociable and talk to people. I would find someone who came along and didn't talk to anyone rude, so I guess I avoid being branded with the same thing.
Quote: RubyMae - Glamourous Snowdrop at Large @ June 10 2009, 3:52 PM BSTHere is a trick. Have a gathering and invite just a couple of you friends and a couple of his. Start small. Then every so often build it up a little. He will feel less pressure and also gives you a chance to get to know his mates.
Heres to 10 months of trying just that! 
Quote: zooo @ June 10 2009, 3:51 PM BSTFrom his side, it is pure torture to be out with people who, for example, try to force you to dance on a night out, when you don't 'do' dancing. (That's happened to me several times and yes, I am still bitter!)
But I don't think that is the sort of thing you're on about, Ellie.
Sometimes quiet people are being rude, but sometimes they're just being quiet.
I'm sure there are lots of fun things you both enjoy doing, maybe do more of them and less of the stuff that makes you (you or him) feel uncomfortable.
What I want him to do, and what I make him do are completely separate. I would never ever try and make him do something he doesn't want to do, doesn't make me any happier. I just avoid him while we're out because he is not the fun, smart guy I love. He's the rude, boring guy in the corner.