British Comedy Guide

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My dad turns 80 in a few weeks

Apparently he got a letter in the post yesterday saying that on turning 80 he is entitled to an extra 25p a week on his state pension

How the other half lives..

Quote: lofthouse @ 2nd August 2024, 2:46 PM

My dad turns 80 in a few weeks

Apparently he got a letter in the post yesterday saying that on turning 80 he is entitled to an extra 25p a week on his state pension

How the other half lives..

What a generous Government.

I had a fly in my car for 3 days. The cheeky bastard would land on my nose as I was driving.
All four windows down and he still wouldn't buzz off - even if he was on the window as it went down.
I'd get in the car on a morning forgetting about Freddy and sure enough ZZzzZZzz.
It's a sad story. I heard my dog clamp his jaws together in the back seat and it seems FF was no more.

After having issues with my eyes I've started taking vitamin supplements

But I think I may have gone overboard

I now have in my cupboard vitamin A, vitamin B, vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E, Lutein, Bilberry, omega 3 fish oil and zinc

Quote: lofthouse @ 27th August 2024, 6:24 PM

After having issues with my eyes I've started taking vitamin supplements

But I think I may have gone overboard

I now have in my cupboard vitamin A, vitamin B, vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E, Lutein, Bilberry, omega 3 fish oil and zinc

Probably explains your blinkered reading.

Quote: lofthouse @ 27th August 2024, 6:24 PM

After having issues with my eyes I've started taking vitamin supplements

But I think I may have gone overboard

I now have in my cupboard vitamin A, vitamin B, vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E, Lutein, Bilberry, omega 3 fish oil and zinc

I appreciate the bilberry reference. They grow on the moors apparently?

On a personal note I have been jobseeking for months now and the only jobs I've managed to secure are Wetherspoons (I lasted 3 shifts: the 2am finshes and 7am starts allied to covering three floors of waitressing were punishing on my middle-aged body. The zero hours contract care home carer's job was a non-starter.

Every office job seems to attract 100 applicants, such as the one I applied for this afternoon showed on LinkedIn. It's brutal.

Try being the chamois wringer-outer for a one-armed window cleaner.

Probably best to be over 65 (or whatever the relevant age is nowadays - 87?). I can recommend it.

I've just been having an argument on Facebook.

I said that today (September 3rd) marks the 85th anniversary of World War II. He argued it started on 1st September when Germany invaded Poland. I said that we declared war on 3rd as Germany invaded on 1st. He said invasion is an act of war. (Not according to Russia in Ukraine).

Quote: lofthouse @ 27th August 2024, 6:24 PM

I now have in my cupboard vitamin A, vitamin B, vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E, Lutein, Bilberry, omega 3 fish oil and zinc

Not another Woke remake. Think I preferred Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub

Quote: Will Cam @ 3rd September 2024, 8:18 PM

Not another Woke remake. Think I preferred Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub

lol

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