British Comedy Guide

Status report Page 6,021

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 16th September 2018, 12:29 PM

From: EGPF - Glasgow - United Kingdom
To: KIAH - George Bush Intcntl Houston - USA

If you'd flown another 200 miles I would have bought you a virtual beer!

You're as bad as my friend.
He takes off for New York, puts it in auto pilot, goes to bed and lands it in the morning when he gets up.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 16th September 2018, 3:18 PM

You're as bad as my friend.
He takes off for New York, puts it in auto pilot, goes to bed and lands it in the morning when he gets up.

:D I can't do that with Concorde because the maximum range is four hours but I just got the PSS Airbus A340 300 addon which is long haul and the autopilot is incredible. You enter the route in to the FMC and all you need to do is take off and land. The autopilot takes care of everything else so for about 90% of the flight there is sod all to do.

Quote: DaButt @ 16th September 2018, 3:17 PM

If you'd flown another 200 miles I would have bought you a virtual beer!

Cheers! I just checked the map and if you mean San Antonio Int it has ILS runways so I'll plot a route. Keep that virtual bottle of suds on virtual ice :D

I'm still trying to understand what Tarby's talking about.

Step away Beaky, if you get the bug you are doomed.
My friend (and he's in his 60s) is a complete flight sim nerd.

He has 3 monitors (so he can see out of the side windows)
Surround sound so the engine noises are in the right place.
A pilots seat, vibrating yoke and foot pedals and all manner of other add on's.

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 16th September 2018, 6:23 PM

I just checked the map and if you mean San Antonio Int it has ILS runways so I'll plot a route. Keep that virtual bottle of suds on virtual ice :D

That's about 12 miles from my house. We also have several military bases that land huge aircraft, so you shouldn't have a problem landing nearby. Let me know and we'll down a couple of pints. I have a nice homebrewed bitter on tap in my dining room...

$4000 for a sandwich, hot dog and 3 drinksTeary No wonder Concorde went out of business. Does the plane explode when you take off from Paris?

More plane news man finds a Junkers 88 on Norfolk beach said to be downed by a BP Defiant! A fighter with no forward firing guns for some reason still unknown and hardly mentioned in most docs or films. And I'm off to watch Hurricane in week. Mainly to see if they get the flying formation right but it would be interesting also to see how the Hurricane coped with the 109s on them and how easily they go down. In the trailer we see one going down but more Hurricanes returned with damage than Spits and pilots hailed their toughness with stories of them taking hundreds of rounds but surviving. Time for its moment in the sun surely as great as the Spit was, it was the Hurricane that knocked out most of the bombers. Pirate

Quote: Alfred J Kipper @ 17th September 2018, 11:42 AM

Does the plane explode when you take off from Paris?

I've not tried but I'll give it a shot, cheers!

The BP Defiant sounded interesting:

Image

I can see it at night prowling the low altitudes ready to act like flying anti aircraft gun and shoot at the axis who are hundreds of feet higher and can't see them. Low cloud cover was probably the navigators best friend. It sounds like a Hobart's Funnies type of strategic development and an important cog in the war effort.

Quiet round here today.........

Entered a logo design competition at work and won! I now have a £100 Amazon voucher and my winning design will be used at corporate events and on company laptops. Hurrah!

:D Well done!

Can we see it?

Quote: Briosaid @ 21st September 2018, 5:54 PM

:D Well done!

Thanks :) I'm going to use the voucher for Christmas pressies. Maybe a bottle of Jack as well for some festive cheer!

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 21st September 2018, 6:09 PM

Can we see it?

It's not online so I can't post a picture but it's of an old space invaders game in the 8 bit graphics style with some company logos and the idea behind it is about cyber security and hacking prevention.

Quote: DaButt @ 17th September 2018, 1:57 AM

That's about 12 miles from my house. We also have several military bases that land huge aircraft, so you shouldn't have a problem landing nearby. Let me know and we'll down a couple of pints. I have a nice homebrewed bitter on tap in my dining room...

I thought some role playing was in order so I arranged for 120 of the most legendary Irish power drinkers to gather for a quick hop over to your gaff and put your hospitality to the test! This is also the first time I've landed at an air force base so wasn't sure if I was going to be shot down.

Flight ID: 147663
Company: Concorde Travel
Aircraft: Concorde BAOLD LowVC Cabin
Flight Date: September 23 2018
Departure: 20h07 (20h07 GMT)
Arrival: 18h07 (00h07 GMT)
From: EINN - Shannon - Ireland
To: KSKF - Lackland AFB, Kelly Field Annex - USA
Nbr of Passengers: 120

Report:

Flight Distance: 4,012 Nm
Landing Speed: 162.89 kt
Time Airborne: 03h59:51
Landing Touchdown: -658.46 ft/m
Flight Time (block): 04h01:12
Landing Pitch: 8.94°
Time On Ground: 00h08:21
Landing Weight: 239188 lbs
Average Speed: 1003.18 kt
Total Fuel Used: 169731 lbs
Max. Altitude: FL 560
Fuel Not Used: 37262 lbs
Climb Time: 00h29:15
Climb Fuel Used: 37403 lbs
Cruise Time: 03h09:57
Cruise Fuel Used: 125446 lbs
Average Cruise Speed: 1122.80 kt (M1.49)
Cruise fuel/hour: 39625 lbs (calc)
Descent Time: 00h20:39
Descent Fuel Used: 6880 lbs

Passenger Opinion: Very good flight, professionally done (99%)
-Were highly entertained by the movie.
-Were in a better mood because they had food.
-Were pleased by the music on ground. A very nice addition to their flying experience.
-Were irritated by the excess G-forces. (+3.11).
-Wonder if they landed or if they crashed (hard landing).

Financial Report:

Ticket Income: +$152,880 (4,012 Nm)
Cargo Income: +$93,349 (27998 lbs)
Services Income: +$6,991 (1 sandwich 2 hot food 5 drink)
Services Cost: -$4,966 (68% quality)
Fuel Cost: -$105,973 (169731 lbs Jet-A1)
Airport Taxes: -$552 (Heavy Aircraft)
Insurance Costs: -$32,267 (4.32% rate)
Total Real Income: $109,462
Total Income: $5,473,100 (real x50)
Fleet Bonus: $179,089 (4 aircraft)
Total Sim Income: $5,652,189 (total income+fleet bonus)

Company Reputation:

Considering that the flight was very good the ticket price low, the service price low and the service quality nice, passengers on this flight think that your company's reputation should be 99%
Your company reputation is now: 92% (+0.64 increase)

Overall Flight Result: Perfect

Pilot Bonus points: 379 points
· Good Flight, no problems and satisfied passengers. (+100)
· You landed at the scheduled airport. (+30)
· Long flight (03h59) without using time acceleration, without any problems and with satisfied passengers. (+199)
· Very bad weather conditions during take-off, but a safe landing and satisfied passengers. (+50)

Pilot's Penalty points: -400 points
· You made a very hard landing at -658 ft/mn and the tires sustained damage. (-400)

Quote: Definitely Tarby @ 24th September 2018, 12:47 AM

I thought some role playing was in order so I arranged for 120 of the most legendary Irish power drinkers to gather for a quick hop over to your gaff and put your hospitality to the test! This is also the first time I've landed at an air force base so wasn't sure if I was going to be shot down.

So that was a sonic boom that I heard, not one of my neighbors drunkenly firing a shotgun from their back porch?

They were probably surprised to see a Concorde land there, but they've seen stranger things - like a space shuttle. And you weren't even the fastest aircraft on Lackland AFB, since they have an SR-71 on display. My friends were actually there a few hours ago to show their grandson the aircraft on static display.

https://goo.gl/maps/pKW3YC17JEu

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