I'd skip it.
But mainly because I'm antisocial, not because of poor arses.
Status report Page 5,886
Quote: zooo @ 18th December 2015, 11:00 AM GMTI'd skip it.
But mainly because I'm antisocial, not because of poor arses.
I probably will. I could be at home sitting on my own poor arse.
Quote: TheBlueNun @ 18th December 2015, 10:08 AM GMTHappy Birthday to you both. Are you twins?
Oh dear!
I'm loving the word 'cuspid' though.
Thank you The Blue Nun.
He is likely to be a lot younger than me.
Or a bit older.
I was born at 10.25 in the morning.
We are both very outgoing Sagittarians who are almost on the cuspid.
But I have my moon in Virgo which means I'm also a neurotic and anxious introvert and my ascendant is in the age of Aquarius. Consequently, people see me as completely crackers. Luckily, my mercury which is the planet of one's communication style. That's inhabited by Capricorn, the Lynton and Lynmouth mountain goat.
You were born?! 
I thought you were created, or a figment of my imagination.
Quote: A Horseradish @ 18th December 2015, 11:03 AM GMTThank you The Blue Nun.
He is likely to be a lot younger than me.
Or a bit older.
I was born at 10.25 in the morning.
We are both very outgoing Sagittarians who are almost on the cuspid.
But I have my moon in Virgo which means I'm also a neurotic and anxious introvert and my ascendant is in the age of Aquarius. Consequently, people see me as completely crackers. Luckily, my mercury which is the planet of one's communication style. That's inhabited by Capricorn, the Lynton and Lynmouth mountain goat.
That is rather lovely. I think that I was born at 2am in the morning under the star sign of Cancer.
I have always loved the term 'capricious' meaning 'goat-like'. Actually, my former best friend from school was also a Capricorn as she had a birthday on Christmas Eve.
I'd love to see a picture of the Lynton and Lynmouth Mountain Goat. I've heard that it's becoming an endangered species in those particular postcodes?
Sometimes I wonder whether the posters on Mumsnet are totally sane: http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2530872-to-string-up-DH-when-he-gets-home?trending=1
Quote: TheBlueNun @ 18th December 2015, 1:03 PM GMTThat is rather lovely. I think that I was born at 2am in the morning under the star sign of Cancer.
I have always loved the term 'capricious' meaning 'goat-like'. Actually, my former best friend from school was also a Capricorn as she had a birthday on Christmas Eve.
I'd love to see a picture of the Lynton and Lynmouth Mountain Goat. I've heard that it's becoming an endangered species in those particular postcodes?
Sometimes I wonder whether the posters on Mumsnet are totally sane: http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2530872-to-string-up-DH-when-he-gets-home?trending=1
Hello again The Blue Nun,
My best friend has the same star sign as you and my Dad is a Capricorn. The Lynton goats walk on the roads leading to the Valley of the Rocks and are friendly although they also eat the roses beside the bungalows.
Most of the people in the village are lovely but avoid the B and B and Evening Meal place with half a prize winning garden. It's run by a goataphobe who serves up odd meat and doesn't tell you what it is exactly.
Quote: TheBlueNun @ 18th December 2015, 1:03 PM GMTSometimes I wonder whether the posters on Mumsnet are totally sane: http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2530872-to-string-up-DH-when-he-gets-home?trending=1
He clearly just done a murder.
Cleaning away the evidence quicksmart.
Quote: zooo @ 18th December 2015, 1:18 PM GMTHe clearly just done a murder.
Cleaning away the evidence quicksmart.
Ah, good point zooo - it would be a very strange thing to do otherwise. I wonder if even a three hour wash would be enough to completely eliminate blood stains? If Danny Baker was still bankrupt and fronting the 'Daz Doorstep Challenge' I'd tweet him.
So I'm writing jolly Christmas messages for a client.
Ho ho.
Hi APilchard
So this is my sample.
Basically the first part is I slightly rewrote the first 2 messages to make them a little Christmasier
And rewrote Santa Claus is coming to town, to be about the Krampas I'd suggest using just a couple of verses.
The rest is just quick one or two liners to drop in and hopefully get a result. To make it work I kinda blurred the line between Krampas and an escaped serial killer. Because well who's scared of Krampas for real? Who's scared of an escaped sociopath with an axe and razor blades? Most of us.
It's pretty intense and probably the masturbation reference isn't something you'll want, but I can dial it back to whatever level of intensity you want.
Thanks Joel
Song
You better watch out
No one's hearing your cries
Better not doubt
I'm afraid you're going to die
Krampas claws is going to town
He's making a list
And checking it twice
Gonna find out Who's murdered and sliced
Kramps Claws is hunting you down.
He sees you when you're sleeping
He hears when you masturbate
Don't bother being good its far to late
So hide for goodness sake
O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
He'll find you right out
I'm telling you why
Krampas Claws is going to town
Krampas Claws is hunting you down
Hey NAME looks like you made the real naughty list, the really naughty list my naughty list. But that's ok because you're still getting a present, 12 of them like for every day of Christmas. 10 rusty razor blades on each of my fingers and 2 on the ends of my boots.
Hey NAME Santa asked if you could help wrap his present, all we need is about 10 feet.....of your intestines. That's ok they're nice and red aren't they?
Hey NAME are you talking about me? That's just fine makes it easier for me to find you and if you shut up, hell I can just smell your fear.
Ho Ho NAME it's me Krampus. Tell me do you have a chimney, that's ok I've got an axe.
Merry Christmas NAME seasons greetings, they'll be your last.
Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree, I'll will punish you psychotically!
Ho Ho NAME don't be scared I'm just like Santa. He's got a sack full of presents and I've got an empty body bag with your name on it.
Off for a 30Km run.
Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 20th December 2015, 12:49 PM GMTOff for a 30Km run.
Really? Through the woods? Remember what happened last time GB.
Quote: Gordon Bennett @ 20th December 2015, 12:49 PM GMTOff for a 30Km run.
I wish I could run 1Km........... 
That's eighteen or nineteen MILES.
If anyone can run that far without stopping they should just automatically be in the Olympics.
Quote: zooo @ 20th December 2015, 3:03 PM GMTThat's eighteen or nineteen MILES.
If anyone can run that far without stopping they should just automatically be in the Olympics.
I'm scared too. I can't even run for the bus.
Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 20th December 2015, 2:50 PM GMTI wish I could run 1Km...........
I can run 10mm.
Quote: sootyj @ 18th December 2015, 10:10 PM GMTMerry Christmas NAME seasons greetings, they'll be your last.
It'll be your last (or that'll be your last), surely? There's only one. If not, when do these seasons end?
Nice to see Mr Pilchard has recovered from his eelness.