Status report Page 5,584

laudable. Is it just the buffet or is there a sitdown thing too?

There is a TV show based on Fargo!
How did I not know this.

Quote: zooo @ 1st April 2014, 11:42 PM BST

There is a TV show based on Fargo!
How did I not know this.

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Must be a trend. Just saw a trailer for one based on "About A Boy" too, with Minnie Driver.

Quote: Jennie @ 1st April 2014, 11:16 PM BST

Really? I've been to hundreds of the damn things. My advice is just to get really really drunk.

Then you can respond appropriately to any of the "will you be next" questions. Oh wait, you won't get them. Because you are a boy.

Jennie has discovered Mumsnet. It is the best thing in the whole world.

Here is a sample of a Mumsnet post:

OH HOLY GOD.
I AM SO SCARED AND PANICKY RIGHT NOW

I WAS JUST GOING TO GET A LATE NIGHT SNACK FROM THE KITCHEN WHEN THIS BEAST OF A MOUSE DARTED PAST ME AND SPED INTO MY LIVING ROOM.........

I HAVE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF A RAT BITING MY BUM WHILE I'M ON THE LOO.

WILL IT COME INTO MY BEDROOM WHILE I SLEEP?
OH MY GOD
SHOULD I CALL PEST CONTROL????

NEVER SEEN A MOUSE IN REAL LIFE BEFORE NOW. NEVER SEEN A MOUSE IN THIS HOUSE BEFORE. DOES THIS MEAN I AM SLATTERNLY?

CAN'T CALL DP AS HE WOULD THINK I AM MAD.

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search for centre parcs

Ben didn't have time to do his hair this morning, so is reduced to doing it in the toilet of a Costa Coffee.

Quote: Ben @ 2nd April 2014, 9:11 AM BST

Ben didn't have time to do his hair this morning, so is reduced to doing it in the toilet of a Costa Coffee.

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Dunk and flush?

And then style my Elvis quiff with the hand drier.

Just managed to buy the following on E-bay:
LEGO Technic: Star Wars - Stormtrooper, Darth Vader & CP-30.
For £16, £18 and £16 respectively.

The boys are going to be busy this Easter.

Quote: Lazzard @ 2nd April 2014, 4:25 PM BST

Just managed to buy the following on E-bay:
LEGO Technic: Star Wars - Stormtrooper, Darth Vader & CP-30.
For £16, £18 and £16 respectively.

The boys are going to be busy this Easter.

View original

Translation: Lazzard is going to be busy this Easter.

Quote: Lazzard @ 2nd April 2014, 4:25 PM BST

Just managed to buy the following on E-bay:
LEGO Technic: Star Wars - Stormtrooper, Darth Vader & CP-30.
For £16, £18 and £16 respectively.

The boys are going to be busy this Easter.

View original

coolio but make something original after you completed the prescribed toys

This is so me!

Bill Bryson at his finest . . . .
>
>

That's the problem with getting older, of course- you can't remember
anything.

For me, it's getting worse. Increasingly I have telephone conversations with my wife that go like this:

"Hello, dear. I'm in town. Why am I here?"

"You've gone to get an ink cartridge for your printer."

"Thank you."

You would think that as I get older this would get better because there is less of my mind to grow absent, but it doesn't seem to work that way. You know how as the years tick by you find yourself more and more standing in some part of the house you don't often visit -the laundry area perhaps- looking around with pursed lips and a thoughtful gaze, trying to remember why you are there?

It used to be with me that if I retraced my steps back to where I began, the purpose of this curious expedition would come to me.

No more. Now I can't even remember where I began. No idea at all.

So I wander through the house for twenty minutes looking for some sign of recent activity-a lifted floorboard perhaps, or a burst pipe, or maybe a telephone receiver on its side and a curious little voice squawking: "Bill? You still there?"-something in any case that might have prompted me to get up and go off in search of a notepad or stopcock or goodness knows what.

Usually in the course of these wanderings I find some other thing that needs attending to-a lightbulb that's burned out, say-so I go off to the kitchen cupboard where the light bulbs are kept and open the door and ... yes, that's right, have no idea why I am there. So the process starts again.

who are you

You know, I saw you, now where was it again . . . .

Jennie is baking.

Today a bird crapped down the front of my jumper as I made my way to the tube. When I got home to change I discovered some of it in my beard. NICE.