Quote: Jennie @ September 9 2013, 10:31 AM BSTI love Brief Encounter - one of my favourite films. Sadly, I have neither the perfect hair or the brilliant accent. Dave wasn't exactly dashing either.
Sounds like a match made in heaven. Well the 6:40 to Penzance.
Quote: Tuumble @ September 9 2013, 10:44 AM BSTRight, getting this off my chest now and then I'm done for the day being...
YOUR decision means that not only will I be separated from my kids it effectively makes me homeless as well. Forgive me if I'm not jumping for joy.
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ouch sorry to hear that, Tuumble have you had a serious chat with someone independent and legally clued up?
Talking to your friends isn't always the safest option.
Also if you have a minimun needs to live, e.g. rent for a place you can live etc get it set up.
I also think if you're divorcing spending time with someone, that you are no longer in a close relationship is only going to make things worse.
Get out, get your own place then get talking.
Quote: Jennie @ September 9 2013, 10:31 AM BSTI love Brief Encounter.com - one of my favourite dating sites. Sadly, I have neither the perfect hair or the brilliant accent. And they only ever arrange dates for 5 minutes at a time in railway buffets
I personally prefer InWhichWeServe.com a nautical dating site, sadly all the dates take place on a heavily convoy to Vladivostock.
I second what Soots said. Most sols offer a free first half hour consultation. Take along your financial docs and see what they have to say. A friend of mine went around every sol in town, so her bastard ex couldn't use any of them - but I'm sure you aren't as vindictive as her!
At least you will know where you stand legally and can start envisaging a future for you and your kids.
Quote: sootyj @ September 9 2013, 12:38 AM BSTLost another friendship worried may actially be an asshole os that a clinical diagnosis
People are strange, look at what part they played as well Sootyj, if there's anything you think you did then an open chat and an admission is all you can do, if they don't accept that then damn their asshole.
Cheers people.
I think I know ultimately that the path we're following is the right one but it feels like I'm having to jump through hoops to make it happen on someone else's terms.
Since we sold up in 2007 to go into rented we've never been settled. In fact, if include our last Christmas at our own home in 2006 the festivities have spent in a different house almost every year.
Below you'll see the homes where we spent Christmas and reasons for moving the year after in brackets.
2006 - House 1 (Last in own home - sold up to go into rented the following year)
2007 - House 2 (Given notice to leave as the owner was selling up)
2008 - House 3 (Our decision to move to be closer to schools)
2009 - House 4
2010 - House 4
2011 - House 4 (Given notice to leave as the owner was selling up)
2012 - House 5 (Splitting up)
2013 - House 6 (Possibly my own but likely to be temporary move at my dads)
2014 - House 7 (My own place)
Quote: Jennie @ September 9 2013, 11:31 AM BSTI second what Soots said. Most sols offer a free first half hour consultation. Take along your financial docs and see what they have to say. A friend of mine went around every sol in town, so her bastard ex couldn't use any of them - but I'm sure you aren't as vindictive as her!
At least you will know where you stand legally and can start envisaging a future for you and your kids.
I did my own divorce! With the help of citizens advice although there were not any major disputes in this case. Once the forms were done I took them to the court in Blackwood. The person behind the counter did some official stamping or some such and said that's it. Wow! It was unbelievable. Ten years of marriage ended in five minutes. So I went out with my mate and got pan handled 
And citizen's advice if you can get an appointment (its worth it) may give an hour or so paralegal advice, e.g. legal correct common sense.
As it is 3 more generic things.
1 A home is where you are comfortable living, not a house, flat etc. I've worked all over London as a partimer or volunteer. Basically a room in a flat share or whatever is not homeless.
2 From all your posts your kids love you, and if they don't see much of a year they will still love you. They will just miss you.
3 Time heals, that you just have to believe. It's amazing how many crap things you can look back and laugh about.
Quote: sootyj @ September 9 2013, 11:39 AM BST3 Time heals, that you just have to believe. It's amazing how many crap things you can look back and laugh about.
Can't say better than that to you Tuumble.
Quote: sootyj @ September 9 2013, 11:39 AM BSTAnd citizen's advice if you can get an appointment (its worth it) may give an hour or so paralegal advice, e.g. legal correct common sense.
As it is 3 more generic things.
1 A home is where you are comfortable living, not a house, flat etc. I've worked all over London as a partimer or volunteer. Basically a room in a flat share or whatever is not homeless.
2 From all your posts your kids love you, and if they don't see much of a year they will still love you. They will just miss you.
3 Time heals, that you just have to believe. It's amazing how many crap things you can look back and laugh about.
'Tis true. Thanks
Quote: Shandonbelle @ September 9 2013, 11:36 AM BSTPeople are strange, look at what part they played as well Sootyj, if there's anything you think you did then an open chat and an admission is all you can do, if they don't accept that then damn their asshole.
I think it was that he texted me to say he felt he should get intouch as it was Rosh Hashanah, to wish me seasons greetings. But he was still angry I asked about how his PHD was going a year ago.
Usually I'm more temparate and forgiving of his not so great mental health. But he caught me with my happy face off and I was a little more curt than usual.
Quote: roscoff @ September 9 2013, 11:38 AM BSTI did my own divorce! With the help of citizens advice although there were not any major disputes in this case. Once the forms were done I took them to the court in Blackwood. The person behind the counter did some official stamping or some such and said that's it. Wow! It was unbelievable. Ten years of marriage ended in five minutes. So I went out with my mate and got pan handled
But you only went into get your TV license, you're lucky you didn't register as a sex offender.
But seriously sounds like you handled a tough situation well.
A girl in Ben's office had admitted to having an erotic dream about him. And it's not the first time it's happened.
Careful you don't get done for psychic sexual harrasment, for being too sexy.
Quote: sootyj @ September 9 2013, 11:47 AM BSTUsually I'm more temparate and forgiving of his not so great mental health. But he caught me with my happy face off and I was a little more curt than usual.
Sounds like something that will blow over given time, maybe give them a little space and then get in touch and just act normal, no need to go over things unless they bring it up.
Quote: roscoff @ September 9 2013, 11:38 AM BSTI did my own divorce! With the help of citizens advice although there were not any major disputes in this case.
That being the major point. If everything is agreed and the assets are uncomplicated, it can be relatively straightforward. It's when things get sticky that you need lawyers. You are entitled to the free half hour without any obligation to take it further, so always worth doing.
What is much more complicated is to own property together but not be married. That us legal suicide unless finances are watertight.
Quote: Ben @ September 9 2013, 11:49 AM BSTA girl in Ben's office had admitted to having an erotic dream about him. And it's not the first time it's happened.
Is this her? Cos it looks like you!
